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Friday, October 12, 2012

Unbirthed Dreams

I just read an article where the author describes her dashed hopes for the future - now only a dream she once had dreamed - as a still birth or a miscarriage.  It occurs to me that this is what life can seem like to those of us who have been diagnosed with a disease, or suffered other tragedy.  We all had our plans and hopes of a future that did not include PD (or whatever your own heartbreak may be).  Dreams that started with expectant hope and desire for the life that we yearned for, somehow died, and were never allowed to ripen for the day of birth and growth.

I don't know why.  I won't tell you that I can make any sense of it.  It seems nothing but a tragedy just like death on a cross.  And why me?  What did I do to deserved this?  I am catapulted into a fog of pain, sadness and confusion - perhaps even anger and bitterness, when all I wanted was goodness.

But the one thing I do know in my limited knowledge, I cling tenaciously to.  It is recorded in Isaiah 41:10,13.

I am instructed and comforted:

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you.  Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand....  For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand."

And I am amazed as I see things that look for all the world like undeserved death on a cross, but eventually usher into my life the most precious parts of life that there are.


Anonymous said...

Dear Anna,

I stumbled across your blog by accident, although I don't really believe there was any such thing, as your writings have been such a blessing to me and my mother, who was diagnosed with PD some 15 years ago (I hope she will forgive me, as I'm not quite sure when she was diagnosed..). We are Christians and thus it has truly been inspiring to read about your thoughts and life with this disease and with the Lord.

I do apologise for posting this on here; I tried to send an email, but for some reason it didn't work. I hope you will feel comfortable giving me a reply here.

My mother's illness has gradually progressed to a stage where she feels medicines no longer provide the level of support to maintain a reasonable quality of life and she has started to consider the deep-brain stimulation surgery. However, in addition to carefully considering the other risk factors involved, my mother has certain reservations about the procedure as a Christian. As a fellow Christian, who has undergone the operation, I was hoping you may be able to give some insight into this.

Despite the hope of a relief for her day-to-day activities, my mother feels uneasy about the thought of having a device implanted in her body. Her concerns circle around the idea that such a device would later on be evolved into an RFID-chip, which would be used for storing various data and other functions as well. Without trying to be overly dramatic about the issue, we sincerely feel it raises obvious concerns for Christians.

I would be interested to hear if you ever thought about this issue and what your conclusions were.

Thanking you in advance and wishing you every blessing.

Yours sincerely,


Anna said...

Dear J, my email address is
If you give me your email address I'll speak to your concerns. I would love to share with you. Please type DBS in the subject line.