I Had a "Moment"

Last night I had a "moment".  I was just so sad............  The whole world is broken ,  I'm broken, you are broken, and those you know are broken.  This globe that we live on has been abused and taken for granted - unappreciated.

In my corner of the world, I see things that just make me despondent.  They are little things to be sure, but much loved, and missed when they are gone.  For instance, the stars..........  We live outside of our small city, and it's rather like country - or at least parts of it.  We used to be able to see the stars so much brighter than they are now.  When I slip out onto the back patio, after dark, where once the tree frogs and other night creatures. sang out, there is silence.  The still quiet of the night that comes from small populations, and the absence of convenience stores is even disappearing.  More and more I hear the rumble of loud engines as cars go by, in place of the lowing of the cow for her calf, or the packs of coyotes that run free.

My daughter is a bee keeper.  I've learned that bees are very docile workers who do really amazing things:  they dance in the hive when they find a good food source and they want to tell the others; they produce and share with us that wonderful food - honey.  They pollinate our flowers and vegetable gardens and without them we could grow no food.  But for some reason, bees are disappearing..... (http://www.motherearthnews.com/homesteading-and-livestock/the-importance-of-beekeeping-zbcz1402.aspx

A person with a disability will look at things differently  than someone who is strong and healthy.  We may be afraid to try new things, or stop doing old familiar things because we cannot depend on our bodies to respond to things in the needed way.

But I will move on from this sad moment.  I don't want to get stuck.  I can do little to change the world, but I can  decide how to live in my little corner..........  and you can too!

2 Choices

All of us have 2 choices when we need the strength or wherewithall to do something.  We can choose to draw on our physical strength that is in our body or ask God to empower us with His power to get the job done. 
Well, those of us who have PD know just how frustrating it is to not have the physical strength to do what we want to do.  We know what we want to do, but strength is lacking.  A simple task, like writing a letter, or going to the bathroom may be altogether overwhelming because we cannot manage without help.  So we learn to accept the help of others and we are grateful.
I think learning how to do that is a huge thing.  It is what a life of faith in God calls for:  In a Believer's life, he knows what he needs to do and how he needs to live, but is totally unable to do this in his own strength.  The Believer learns to plug into God, and carry out His will through His power.  We do the things He wants, in the way that He wants it, when He wants it.
Doesn't that sound familiar?  With PD one learns to circumvent our own power, which was limited to begin with, and engage God's power which is the very same power that raised Jesus from the dead!  In our inability to get things done, we learn to wait on God and listen to Him.  We learn that our own way is not always best.  We learn how to handle the answer to our prayers when it is NO.  So, you see, those of us with PD have a head start when it comes to living for God.  Once again, I say that PD is a very good teacher, though it 's unappreciated in the present. 
Take advantage of the valuable lessons you have learned in your disability.  Don 't let this experience go to waste.  "Draw near to God and He will draw near to you."   James 4:8

Unbirthed Dreams

I just read an article where the author describes her dashed hopes for the future - now only a dream she once had dreamed - as a still birth or a miscarriage.  It occurs to me that this is what life can seem like to those of us who have been diagnosed with a disease, or suffered other tragedy.  We all had our plans and hopes of a future that did not include PD (or whatever your own heartbreak may be).  Dreams that started with expectant hope and desire for the life that we yearned for, somehow died, and were never allowed to ripen for the day of birth and growth.

I don't know why.  I won't tell you that I can make any sense of it.  It seems nothing but a tragedy just like death on a cross.  And why me?  What did I do to deserved this?  I am catapulted into a fog of pain, sadness and confusion - perhaps even anger and bitterness, when all I wanted was goodness.

But the one thing I do know in my limited knowledge, I cling tenaciously to.  It is recorded in Isaiah 41:10,13.

I am instructed and comforted:

"Do not fear, for I am with you; do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you, surely I will help you.  Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand....  For I am the Lord your God, who upholds your right hand."

And I am amazed as I see things that look for all the world like undeserved death on a cross, but eventually usher into my life the most precious parts of life that there are.

Memories Allowed

How much time in a day do we spend on memories?  Dwelling on our memories can catapult a person into a mire of sadness and halt all forward progress we might look forward to in a day.  Sometimes focusing on certain memories can trigger a downward spiral into depression which can lead to even more problems. 

But the right kinds of memories can encourage, lift up, and increase faith.  Many times I have heard it said, "The mind is the battlefield".  I believe it.  We must choose carefully what we allow to linger in our minds. 

Scripture often tells us to remember the things God has done for us.  When I meditate on times in the past when God has clearly spoken to me, or definitely acted on my behalf, my faith is easily strengthened and actually grows.  In this way, I am responsible for the condition of my faith (even though I know that it is a gift from God).  It becomes easier to detect the whispers of doubt that come from my spiritual enemies, and reject them as lies. 

If you have Parkinson's Disease, you are limited in what you can do, and you are not as physically active as you once were.  In my case, this leads to an ever more active mind, so I must take charge of my mind and be careful not to allow the wrong kinds of thoughts in.  Proverbs 23:7 tells us about man:  "For as he thinks within himself, so he is."

Don't let your mind wander without direction.  No matter the condition of your body - no matter what you are not able to do - THIS you CAN do:  discern whether your thoughts are good or bad and allow only memories that will increase your faith and move you forward. 

The choice is yours.  Do you want to have a healthy faith?

A Simple Prayer and a Small Thought

Today, I have a doctor's appointment.  It is a DBS adjustment.  It seems that I need more "juice" because I'm experiencing some minor symptoms that until recently were a thing of the past.  The only problem is that whenever I go in for an appointment, I seem to be having a great day with no problems, so my doctor can't really make much of an adjustment.  I'm grateful for good days, but I do hope this morning, he will be able to see what's going on.

Maybe I've just gotten used to the absence of symptoms and the beauty of a life that is without the debilitating symptoms that used to be a constant agony.  I don't know.

In any case, Dear Heavenly Father, thank you that You know best, and that I am not left alone to cope with my problems.  I trust you.  I am grateful for the beautiful gifts You have showered on me.  Help me to honor You in all that I do and say and think today.

"God be gracious to us and bless us, and cause His face to shine upon us, that Thy way may be known on the earth."   Psalms 67:1,2

Weakness and Winks or Power and Love

I'm having a quiet day today.  My thoughts are uninterrupted and I am trying to listen to what the Spirit has to say. 

I want to talk about a side of God that we don't normally mention.  I find that most people like to think of Him as a warm, fuzzy, positive presence.  We like to think of His angels sent to protect us.  We believe that God wants us to be happy and without suffering and without pain - ever.  I think many of us see Him as a benevolent Presence that either does not have the power to really change much, or does not care to.  This is a God Who is weak.  He wishes that we would obey His commandments, but winks at us or shrugs His shoulders when we don't.  We tend to think He does not punish rebellion or disobedience.  We just aren't that concerned with comitting a sin here and a sin there because we know He will forgive. 

Think about this.  Take a moment to ask yourself if any of this sounds familiar.  Ask God to show you if these ideas are like some of your own.  Then listen for His answer.  Really listen.  Your life may depend on it.  Matthew 13:14-15 says this:  "You will keep on hearing but will not understand; and you will keep on seeing, but will not perceive; for the heart of this people has become dull.  And with their ears they scarcely hear.  And they have closed their eyes lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart and return, and I should heal them."  These are the words of Jesus. 

Louie Giglio says that God is big - really really big, and FEROCIOUS and POWERFUL.  Also loving.  Genesis 1 tells us that God designed and created the universe and the earth and everything on it.  (What kind of power would that take?)

He HATES sin  (not dislikes or overlooks).  The Bible is very clear that He is not nuetral or half-hearted about sin.  Proverbs 6:16-19 says, "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:  a haughty look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that plots wicked schemes, feet swift in running to do evil, a false witness who lies with every breath, and him who sows strife among brothers."

Sin brings death, and God is all about life.  John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

Would you - as a loving parent be tolerant of cancer or some gross deadly deformity in your child's life?  Certainly not!  And neither is God tolerant of sin in a person's life, because it results in death - eternal separation from Him.  Hell, is the finished product of sin.  God doesn't just send people to Hell.  They wind up there because sin has them in Hell's grip.  Unless a person receives the gift of cleansing and is delivered from sin and death by God's Son - Jesus Christ - he will have no hope of being saved.  Because we are born tainted in a tainted world we are not clean - we are full of sin.

You may be thinking, "But I'm a pretty good person.  I don't sin."  However the Bible says that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)  Indeed we are born in sin.  It is attached to us with chains that cannot be broken with human hands alone.  In God's fierce love for us He came up with a way to free us and be with us, and keep us from death and darkness.

God is love.  He has such incredibly deep and abiding love for you, and for me, that He gave His Son .  "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son."  (John 3:17-18).  Did you get that?  God doesn't condemn, but we are condemned already.  God is fearless and will go to any length to save you.  Indeed He already has.

Would a weak dispassionate God who winks at sin do all this???  Ask God Who He really is.  Respectfully ask.  Whoever He is, He is greater than mere man

Thank You, Daughter

I just returned from a visit with my daughter and two grandsons.  Not only did I have a wonderful time with  them, but also enjoyed my daughter's bee hives, garden and excellent cooking.  I'm home now with renewed inspiration to prepare healthy foods and enjoy eating right with my family.  I've been going through a book (called Nourishing Traditions by Sally Fallon and Mary G. Enig., PHD) that my daughter gave me to find some new recipes, but I was a bit overwhelmed at the huge amount of information along with tasty dishes.  So I decided to learn just one new thing at a time.  I have chosen chicken stock which is used in many different things.  It's incredibly nutritious.
At times I am tempted to think it's a waste of time for me to eat nutritiously, because I have already suffered much damage to my body with the Parkinson's Disease.  What good is it going to do now?  But I am going to throw that thought away.  I believe that nourishing my body now can only fuel it to heal itself.  It may slow or halt the progression of PD.  It makes sense that it can only be beneficial for me AND my family.At the very worst, I will enjoy eating what I prepare with my family. 
I have already found that I am energized as I put good things into my body.  Join with me in this endeaver.  Share with me any recipes made with organic foods that you have, and let's get to work getting healthy!

Talk

How are you with talking to people about your disability?  Maybe you're embarrassed, or fearful to talk about it.  Maybe you feel like if you can ignore it or talk around it then somehow it's not as bad, or not there at all.  Maybe it's somehow not real if you ignore it.

WRONG!

When we tell others our stories or share some of our problems with friends, it somehow lightens our burden.  Others are blessed when we share a little bit about OUR burdens.  Some are inspired by our courage and strength, and some are an encouragement to US.  Don't waste all that you have learned by not telling.  Let others in on the lessons that you have had to pay dearly to learn.  Lighten your burden by sharing and bless someone by acknowleging your struggles. I believe that's part of our purpose here on this earth.... taking what we have and giving it to someone who needs it.

I have realized anew that life is not all about me.  I am a vibrant and necessary part in this world, at this time, and so are you, but there is so much more.  It's actually a relief to realize that and forget my inhibitions or discomfort for a while and speak freely.

So, now having said that, I'll touch on opportunities to share.  I find that God almost always brings someone to me, and they will usually lead the conversation quite naturally in the direction of an openning for me to share.  Pray for opportunites like that.  He is just LOOKING for someone to share our life in Him with someone who needs to hear it.  Ask Him for a chance to do this.  If we are willing and make ourselves available, He will honor that request.

No matter if you are sick or what your burden may be, you have something to share and somebody has a need to hear it.

The Truth About Growing

Are you ever disappointed in yourself?  Do you wonder if you will ever get it all right?  Can you think of the last time you did?  Do you ever feel stuck and disadvantaged because of your disease (or whatever your challenge is)?

The truth is without our challenges (otherwise known as heartaches, shattered dreams, or as Paul called it - a thorn in the flesh) we would get nowhere.  We would never get past stage one in our growth process.  We would remain immature and undeveloped.  We won't change unless we are pushed out of the familiar place where we are comfortable.  We won't develope a taste for truth until we have been burned by untruth.  We won't get creative and figure out new ways to get through a day until we can no longer do it the old way.  Growth can be a painful process.  But the key word here is "process".  It doesn't happen all at once just because you know the Truth.  True change happens when as you learn the truth, you choose to incorporate it into your heart, soul and spirit - when it becomes who you are.

My disability has fueled my growth.  It's true that it is a disagreeable teacher, but one from whom my growth has sprung!  Thank you, Lord, for not leaving me unchanged and undeveloped!

Wounded Warrier

This morning I am feeling burdened for those of you who are battle weary and wounded.  I FEEL your pain.  I am moved to pray for you.  If you are reading this - know that these words are for YOU.  Here is my prayer for you:


Lord, bring this sister's (or brother's) pain to a close.  Let hope become evident where there is no hope.  Make the pain of the past give way to joy.  Make sense of this apparent triumph of evil, sickness and death.


Where is Your victory?  Where is justice?  Where are you in all of this?  We wait on You to make sense of all this, and we wait on You to guide us through this deep, thick darkness.  Come to the rescue, Lord....  We are nothing on our own.


Give back what the locusts have devoured.  The enemy is merciless in his attack.  Help us - help Your servant and friend....  In the midst of attack lift up her (his) head, establish her (his) faith, and fill her (him) with hope.  Our lives hinge on your strong arm.  Though it feels like you may come near to slaying us - let our love for You abound.

Grudges and Healing

I have read that holding grudges and refusing to forgive can cause disease in our bodies, and certainly aggravate what is already an issue. I don't know about you, but I don't want anything in my life that could prevent or retard healing! So, I have been doing some thinking about it. I came up with an analogy that helped me understand the process a little better, and perhaps it will help you as well. At any rate, it can't hurt: Forgiveness is a garden that we must tend or it doesn't develop. I must work the ground (of my heart) digging it up, breaking up hard clumps, - hoeing and raking – pounding it until it is workable (ready to forgive). Then I add fertilizer and thoroughly mix it in, until it is evenly distributed. Holes must be dug and plants and seeds planted. I must water them (give the water of grace instead of the dust of vengence). I guard it (from animals, insects and birds – or more plainly – wrong attitudes, thoughts or deeds) as I watch. I make sure it gets plenty of exposure to the sun (reading the Word, praying and fellowship). The garden must be tended daily and as time goes by, I weed it and continue to water. I prune as needed. If I am not faithful and consistent in my resolve to forgive, weeds will choke out the plants by blocking them from the sunlight and drinking up all the moisture. Everything will go to seed and appear unkempt. Yields will be little or nonexistent if the garden is untended. God causes growth. We decide to forgive (we will it), but God changes our reluctant hearts and transforms them into forgiveness. We only must be willing and obedient to the point of death – death of my “right” to demand punishment – my “right” to revenge. It must be put on the cross with Christ and crucified. Just as the seed must die when planted so that the transformation (of the seed into a plant) can take place, so my desire and decision to forgive must be the starting point which begins the process of forgiveness. __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ seed.....(the decision to forgive).....seed dies (flesh crucified - deny the satisfaction of exacting revenge or punishing).....plant grows.....(daily resisting the flesh by reaffirming the decision to forgive).....plant blooms and reseeds.....(we are transformed - FORGIVENESS! __________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ God takes the unjust wounds inflicted on us and the stings of abandonment and betrayal to test our hearts and bring forth the gold of forgiveness. These wounds and stings are the manure from which the blooms of forgiveness are grown. Think about it.