I Have Learned What is Most Important

I'm sixty years old.  Sometimes I feel every bit of that plus more........and other times I feel what I'm guessing normal may feel like.  Of course having had this disease for over 20 years now, I don't guess I really know what normal feels like.  Whatever.  But what I want to say is that PD (monster that it is)  has taught me different values - better ones.  Before, I depended upon the temporal parts of me.  Like my youthful appearance, my size 2 body, the gift of grace on a  horse - the way I looked and the way I carried myself.  I also developed character and tried to always be kind and generous among other things, but now that I don't have that young face and body, or those graces, I have had to realize that skin deep isn't good enough.  I want to be good and strong, honest and faithful, loyal and loving.........  What I cannot do physically any more, is a temptation to insecurity.  There are no approving glances or admiration at my physical skills.  Instead I am clumsy and slow.
But, do you know - this is why I have learned what is most important.  It takes courage to face the world with less than everybody else has.  When you step outside your secret world, it forces you to call up the strength you never thought you had.  It encourages you to be forgiving and patient with others, because you know you are taxing on people at times.  You learn to reject embarassment over meaningless things like inability to use a fork correctly, or hold a tea cup without trembling.  These problems force me to grow past the things that I will leave behind when I leave this earth.
I will never love PD.  But I am a different person than before.  I am a better, deeper person.  I am less interested in SELF and far more interested in you.  Life with PD has called forth my best efforts and taught me to notice the little things, because I can't do what I once thought were the big things.
I hope that one day, I will meet you..........  I wonder what you think of life with PD, or just plain life...........  And I want to say, that it takes grace - and lots of it - to move through life with a broken body.  I think you must be beautiful..........and one day I hope I will meet you.

Prayer

I believe when we are so full of God's broken heart - when we are brimming full of gratitude to Him - when our need is desperate enough - when we have the tiniest sense of His infinite grace - then we pray.  It is what wells up in our hearts and overflows like the shepherd's cup.  It overshadows every other thing and it must be released to rush back to its source - El Elyon (the most high God) the great I AM.

Prayer never ceases where God is worshipped.

Prayer is like the waters that rush from the mountains to the sea.......carving new paths, changing shorelines, slowing to pool here and there - sustaining life or speeding up to dash the enemy to pieces......always moving back to the heart from which it was broken.

Be still before Him!  Know His heart!  Embrace all that He is.  Trust Him in high waters and low.  Pray His heart.

Like the spray from the waterfall that joyously flings itself over the edge - so should our prayers be - finding their way back His heart.

Real Faith

This is dedicated to the person I haven't seen in a long while and who stirred my thoughts tonight and got me to thinking along these lines.  Thank you. 

Faith...........  What is faith?  Is it something that will make the outcome of a situation sure to come true?  If I believe hard enough for what I want to happen, will it happen?  Is this faith?  No.  This is not faith.  It's not even true.  If it were true, do you  think I would still have Parkinson's Disease?  Certainly not!
Faith points to the One in whom I believe to do what He says He will do - to remain true to His character. So who do I have faith in?  God.  The God of the Bible.  Jesus.  He is the only one who can always be counted on to do the right thing - the loving thing.
I can face the day ahead with this dreadful disease because I know the One who is there every minute with me.  I know that He is love and light and goodness.  He has all power and knows everything.  Knowing that He is all these things and I can count on that to never change, then I can face the day ahead with this dreadful disease.  Whatever happens (it will only be what He allows) it will work out ok because He is looking out for my best interests.  He will tell me if I go the wrong way, or do an inappropriate thing.  If I ignore Him then He will do something to get my attention.  If I am His child, He will not let me get away with doing harmful or immoral things, because He loves me too much to let me settle for what is not best. 
I have faith that I will make it through the night tonight.  I don't know what will happen tonight, but I have faith that He will be here with me and that nothing can happen unless He allows it.  I know His character, therefore I know nothing will be more than I can cope with, because He has promised it is so. 
I can ask for Him to heal me.  Will I be healed tonight?  If I only think positively and not entertain the thought that He might say no, will I be healed tonight?  Can I expect that?    No.  Well does that mean that my faith wasn't big enough or strong enough to receive what I asked for?  No.  It simply means your faith was misplaced.  It was not faith in the One who can perform miracles, but faith in the outcome I wanted.  Is it good to ask for healing?  Yes.  But it may not be best for your idea of healing to be the one God chooses.  And so God sometimes says, "No."  Sometimes He says, "Not now."  Other times He says, "Not in that way."  He says no because we often ask for something that ultimately would not work out right. 
What if we took the word, "no" out of a parent's vocabulary?  It would be disastrous.  Well, we can no more take ,"no" out of God's vocabulary than we can remove it from a parent's vocabulary.  We learn what is appropriate to ask for when we have heard no enough times.
I'm going to continue to ask Him for healing, but if He says, "Not now.", I will not have a fit like a spoiled child, but will remember who my Father is and trust Him to do what's best.  Faith is trusting Him.

PD, Mephibosheth and Grace

I used to run the race of life on the front lines of the battle.  I was strong and it felt good to spend myself attaining not just satisfaction - but also gaining ground in nearing the proximity of my perceived goals.  As time passed, I found my goals were always changing, and I never reached the end of my struggle.  I ran, and ran, and ran accomplishing more but gaining nothing.  My speed was frantic - but for all my efforts, it was fast getting me nowhere. 
And then, long before the race was done, something broke.  Enter PD.  It slowed my forward progress, yet I was no less driven to win.  I was like the Israelites - in bondage - striving to make my quota of bricks - just barely keeping ahead of the demand when the straw - a necessary ingredient of bricks - was no longer given.  The demands for brick remained the same but without the straw given to me, it took more strength, more time, more skill.
I felt hedged in, troubled, oppressed in every way, perplexed and unable to find a way out, hard driven, alone, struck down to the ground - and in all things I felt the sentence of death to my mortal being.  Something had to give.  I needed either a new quota of bricks, a new task master, or renewed ability to perform. 
My ability was not renewed.  In fact it weakened and I became increasingly unable to perform.  The quota did not change.  The same was still required - the standard was not lowered.  The only way I was to survive was by grace.  Someone had to step into my place and make the bricks that were required.  The quota must be met.  The standard could not be lowered.  Someone needed to step in to do the things for me I could not do.
Here I was a failure in every way.  I had become an invalid.  I couldn't take care of myself and certainly not anyone else.  I could earn nothing, nor did I deserve any help based on my  accomplishments.  According to my performance, I was deficient.  Only grace could give me dignity.  Only an act of unmerited favor could raise me from the disgrace of total uselessness.  Only grace could put me into a position of honor.
King David once gave grace to a man named Mephibosheth, who was the son of an enemy and a cripple.  Mephibosheth was hiding in fear from the king in a place called Lo-Debar (which means no pasture), when the king invited him to eat at the king's table and be provided for all of his days. 
I am a picture of grace!  Even my name (Anna) means "grace".  Once I was broken and lost - useless - and an enemy to God. Like Mephibosheth, I was an invalid. I was without dignity or honor, existing like Mephibosheth in a terrible place where there was no pasture - no sustenance (it is equated with no Word of God.  We know that Jesus IS the Word, so we can conclude that we came from a place bereft of Jesus as Lord).  Jesus, my King, extended grace and took me in all of my brokeness, gave me dignity, and raised me to a place of honor.
If you want to understand grace, look at me.  Understand my earlier condition of disgrace.  Understand my need.  Then look and see what God has done for me. If you have never accepted all the love Jesus offers you - if you have never received the grace that He freely offers to you, then please stop to ponder it.  Do not walk away from this gift.  I encourage you to receive it as eagerly as you would receive a gift in beautiful wrapping!

Does God Ever Say No?

So, you have a disease..............  Me too.  Have you tried different "remedies" hoping that by some miracle you will discover healing?  Have you deepened your thoughts and considered possibilities for healing that you never really thought of before?  Have you prayed for God to remove this mountain?  And has He?
I have heard it said many times, that God wills that every person be healed.  I believe that is true when looking at the big picture.  But God often shows us the ultimate result hoped for alongside of the daily realities between where we are now and where we will be then.  He may not manifest that healing immediately.  Why?
Because He may be able to reach more people in this world at the present time, by showing His power, and immense provision for us and in us who are so weak.  It may be for others who need to see a weak, fallen, disillusioned sick person, rising above every heartache, dealing with every dream dashed, somehow standing tall when it just isn't possible...... How can the world know of His great power and infinite love, unless they see it in action?  How can they know He is Saviour unless they see Him SAVE?
Oh, they could read about it in the Bible, but unless they SEE it in the lives of the hopeless, and unless they SEE the resurrection of hope long dead; unless they SEE God carry a person through the fire, they will not believe.
God sees you as healed if you belong to Him.  There may be some miles you have to travel before YOU see it, but healing will certainly come for His people.  Nowhere does God say that He will give what we ask, exactly WHEN we ask, in the way and measure we EXPECT it to come. He encourages us to ask, but in fact, He often says, "WAIT" for Me to give you your heart's desire.
If you are a parent, you have surely heard your child's request for something, and said, "OK", but you continue what you are doing until you get to a good stopping point, and THEN you set about the business of fulfilling the request. It's the same with God. God will not leave a single stone unturned, when it comes to loving people and saving them.
When the request came to Jesus to go to His friend, Lazarus and heal him, He tarried 2 more days.  Was He refusing to heal?  Did He heal in HIS time?  Did others believe in the Saviour because of this sickness that Lazarus endured and was ultimately healed from?
Look back over your life and remember.........  Who had to suffer so that you could be redeemed?  Who walked a slippery path while you watched and learned that there is a God?  Did you watch as someone worked their way through troubles you could only imagine?  Someone had to suffer for the lessons you learned.  And if you belong to Him, He will lead someone else to the Truth as they watch you walk the path before you.
Healing will come.  Know that there is purpose in the wait.  Be joyful that healing will come.  He is not willing that any should perish, but that all should have life, and have it more abundantly!

Love or Knowledge?

The world is a difficult place to be.  We can't be sure of anything.  Bad things happen and safety seems only an illusion.  If I dwell on life's uncertainties and entertain my fears I will lose heart.  If I focus on doing the right things, I will eventually bear resentment, and come to the end of  my strength.  There are so many unanswered questions about everything, that it can drive me crazy not knowing the answers. 
Religion attempts to answer some of our questions, and does simplify things by making lists and having rules.  But that too can become tiresome and ungratifying. 
Seeking God - making Him my first priority - simplifies everything, and is so satisfying.  Good behavior and right thoughts and actions automatically follow when I have a love relationship with Him.
Does relationship with Him make things any more predictable?  Can you be sure of certain outcomes?  Are things safer with Him? 
Answers are important to people with PD.  But will answers really give us the peace that we long for, and will I have any more control over things than I do now?  Can knowing more really lessen the stress of living?
I propose that the answer to those questions is no.  Then, what is the answer?  How can I simplify my life and calm my fears?  How can I get rid of anxiety?  It's all so damaging to our bodies.
I think we are looking for all the answers in the wrong places. 
Let me try to explain:  Do you remember your first love?  All you wanted to do was spend time with that person.  Then, problems just seemed to fade away.  As long as you could be with that person, you felt like you could face anything.  You felt like no problem was so big that it couldn't  be solved.  There was a peace and a confidence that pervaded your soul when with this person.  You didn't spend much time (if any) worrying about things.  You just knew that everything would be allright because you were not alone, and you were loved.
It's the same thing with God.  He is there with you - loving you, tending  to your problems, always having your best interest at heart....  Do you have any more answers than before?  Maybe not.  But that's not what is important.  It's not WHAT you know....  It's WHO you know.
I'm never going to have all of the answers, but I can totally belong to the One who does, and that's what's important.
I am loved therefore I love, and that is all I really want.  Then I can rest despite not having all the answers, because I know He does. 
Thank you, heavenly Father that you love me and I take comfort knowing that You know everything about me.  I trust You to know all of the answers to my troubling questions.  I love You.

Talking to God

I've been so busy this last month, that I haven't had time to write much!  There was the hurricane and then I have been packing, and packing, and packing...........  We are moving to Texas - my home.  I've been absent from Texas for 14 years, but now that my husband has retired, we will be leaving New York.  

The whole ordeal has given me much to worry over, but I'm glad to tell you that I have not really fallen victim to the stress that such things can cause.  At least not more than temporarily.  It's not that my serenity just happened, but I chose not to entertain thoughts that would in any way encourage me to fret.  Whenever there was a problem for which I had no answer, I would stop what I was doing to pray (usually briefly), and soon would have His answer.

James 1:2-8 says:  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.  But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.  That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double minded man, unstable in all he does."

Make prayer a priority.  It doesn't have to be lengthy and theologically correct prayers said with all he right words.  It is merely the cry of your heart inviting Him to share your pain, or clear your mind.  It is a simple request for help.  Sometimes it is a song lifted up to Him in praise.  Other times it is a pouring out of feelings - good or bad.

But in every case it is the faith that He is powerful, knowledgeable, loving and just that expresses itself through prayer.  We must be a praying people.  If you're not comfortable praying, start out by repeating the Lord's prayer.  The more you do it, the easier it becomes.  Get started right now, Reader!

It's Bad

Unemployment, rising gas prices, death in Afghanistan, fathers murdering children, as well as missing children, enemy drones invading Israel, meningitis outbreaks caused by back pain shots, and alligators released and abandoned in public areas on Long Island - These are a few things going on here and in the world at large.

Make no mistake - we are living in a dangerous world, populated by dangerous people, in dangerous times.  We are perhaps frightened because of our disability.  We know that there is much we cannot do.  We are slow or frozen, weak and uncoordinated - an easy target for bad people.  We are forced to depend on the kindness of others.  We are very much aware of our physical shortcomings in a world where only the super heroes of our imaginations meet the dark demands of evil.  We are no match for whatever may attack from the midst of darkness.

It will not help to turn from this reality and pretend - and hope - that we and our loved ones will emerge from it all unscathed.  Because we don't know what to do - we have fallen asleep; but we MUST wake up!

Our heavenly father tells us what to do.  He tells us what the final outcome for those who belong to Him will be:

"You will have the Lord for an everlasting light, and your God for your glory."   Isaiah 60:19

I'll give you some highlights from the 91st Psalm, but I strongly suggest that you read the entire Psalm for yourself:

"It is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper, and from the deadly pestilence.  You will not be afraid of the terror by night, or of the arrow that flies by day; of the pestilence that stalks in the day...."  Psalm 91

God is our refuge - our hope - our help in times of trouble.  WAKE UP, Pilgrim!  Have courage and fear not.

Our God is aware; our God is powerful; our God is light and love.  Draw close to Him and He will draw close to you.

"He who dwells in the shelter of the most high, will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.:   Psalm 91:1

What Does the World See?

Yesterday morning I went out with friends.  I saw a man surrounded by his friends on the beach.  He was in a wheelchair - but not just an ordinary wheelchair....  It had wheels that looked like large intertubes - designed to be pushed through the sand on the beach.  The friend pushed the man into the surf - only enough to wet his feet.  The friend was strong and kept a tight hold on the wheelchair.  The man trusted in the strength and love that the friend had for him.

I wondered if the man had been a surfer or a swimmer.  He obviously had a love for the sea.

It struck me that this friend was like Jesus, who pushes His loved ones through this life in the same way.  He is strong.  He is tender.  He takes us where we cannot go alone.

I wonder who is watching you and who is watching me, and I wonder what picture we make - Jesus and me.    For surely we don't go unnoticed.  And whether we trust in His strength and His love, will be there for all to see, so think - reader ....  What does the world see?

I Have Everything I Need to Finish the Day

We cannot escape it - heartbreak, danger, unexpected disaster, extreme fatigue....  But we CAN overcome these obstacles that would drag us down, slow our forward movement and drain the courage right out of our hearts.  We cannot avoid that which would call forth every fiber of strength we can muster to get through, but we CAN choose to walk through it all - in step with our Helper who is the Spirit of God.  Stop for a moment and think about this:  It is the Spirit of the living God - the Comforter that Jesus left for us when He rose to heaven - the teacher and guide that can never steer us in the wrong direction - that walks us through every difficulty that threatens to render us useless or unable to go on living.

Thank you, Lord Jesus, for your Holy Spirit.  It is enough.  I will encounter difficulties today, but not alone, and not without guidance and instruction.  Help me today not to forget that I have everything I need to finish the day.

Works, Walking and Worthiness

How many small and seemingly insignificant decisions do you make every day?  How important do they seem?  As a person living with Parkinson's Disease, I am confronted with many choices in my day, just like everyone else, but the choices I am given will be different than another person's choices.  It may be a decision to not complain for the day, even though there may be alot to complain about.  Or it could be something like putting someone else's need in front of mine......all day.

There are some choices that seem more important than others, yet along with it, comes a temptation.  My heart knows the right thing to do, but from somewhere comes the idea that just this once, I could cut corners and take the easy way and no one would know....  There are also those choices where I could take the easier route, and no one would blame me.  God would understand....

I submit that every choice we are given is an opportunity to live for Christ AND make Him known.  The world, and even our families, watch us - observing our reactions, asking us questions, noticing if our words stand true in light of our actions.  Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them." - "that we should walk in them"....  Think about this for a minute.

As a peculiar people - one who is a member of the elite group of people with PD - God has prepared special work for me, that the world may see Jesus in my daily life through the decisions I make.  We may or may not be able to walk across a room, but we can certainly "walk" in the good works that God prepared beforehand for each one of us!

I am thinking of the story of Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego.... (Daniel 3:12-30)  In a large assembly of people, they were told to bow down and worship the statue of the king - Nebuchadnezer.  Everyone else did, but they did not. They could have chosen to bow like everyone else, and blend with the large group of people (who would blame them?), but this day they chose to walk in the works that God chose for them beforehand (which was to walk in the fire).

When they were noticed standing instead of bowing, they were brought before the king.  They told the king that their God could save them from him, but even if He did not, they would not to bow before the statue.  Enraged at their choice to not bow, he had them thrown into the fiery furnace.  In amazement, the king declared that he saw FOUR people walking around in the fire - not just THREE. The fourth person was God who would not leave them to face the fire alone.   As a result, the king called them  to come out of the fire (they were unhurt without even the smell of smoke on them).  The king then blessed God and glorified Him.

This is the point of the works God has prepared for you to walk in.  You have the unique opportunity to walk through the fire of Parkinson's Disease to the glory of God, but never by yourself. The choice is yours - to walk in a manner worthy of the calling of God - with Him leading the way, or bow down to your idol (pride, untruth, fear of death, selfishness, failure to love those around you, etc.).  Where will you walk today?

On the Cross With Jesus

This world we live in is a stressful place. There is evil, greed, and every kind of selfishness. Danger is always present.  But we can also find light, kindness, goodness, and people who are willing to share.

We have no control over the actions of other people, so we can't control the amount of stress around us that we have to deal with. I find that trying to find that place where stress is non-existant is a waste of time.  A better thing to concentrate on is facing my problems, my fears, and my insufficiency and learning what to do with them. 

I don't think I'll ever reach the place where there is no fear.  At least not on this earth.  Having Parkinson's Disease brings up all kinds of fears.  I can't help that.  But rather than trying to battle them in my own humaness, hoping against hope for a reprieve, I can put those fears where they belong - at the feet of Jesus. 

To do this, I must first identify and face these fears.  It won't help to try and forget them or pretend they are not there.  Running from them will only wear you out.  Once I have identified them, then I mourn, and cry and grieve in the presence of God.  Tell Him all about your agony.  You can even go to God with your anger.  Then admit your powerlessness over these things you fear.  Our struggle to maintain control is nothing more than a mirage. 

It actually gets simple at this point.  I didn't say "easy".  But we now trust God to do as He pleases, believing that He is a loving, all-knowing, all-powerful God who works out His purposes in every day He gives us.

I remember as I struggled through this process (it will take longer for some than others), giving up my own hopes and dreams for this life, I told Him in all sincerity, that if there were any other place in the world I could go, that's where I would be.  But I had exhausted all other possibilities.  I found myself on the cross with Jesus.  My old self had to die with all of my old dreams, desires, and plans.  I did not choose it to be so, but this is where I found myself.

It was agonizing - letting go of my cherished hopes and dreams.  But Jesus knew exactly what I was going through.  In the Garden of Gethsemene, He too struggled with the impending reality of the cross.  He asked the Father 3 times to "let this cup pass" yet when He did not receive the answer He so desperately desired,  with resignation He faced death.....death on a cross.

When the diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease comes, recognize the dread of not knowing how your life will play out or how you will die.  Consider that you may lose loved ones because they can't deal with your tragedy.  But do it all in light of the wonderful reality that He will never leave you or forsake you ("He Himself has said, I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you."  -  Hebrews 13:5).  He will never ask you to do what He hasn't done before.  And know that your life will be what He has planned it will be ahead of time.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."

Now I can truly say with Paul and Timothy in Philippians 3:8 - "I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ."  Trust Him, dear ones.  You will not be disappointed.  Trust and wait.........

Weakness and Winks or Power and Love

I'm having a quiet day today.  My thoughts are uninterrupted and I am trying to listen to what the Spirit has to say. 

I want to talk about a side of God that we don't normally mention.  I find that most people like to think of Him as a warm, fuzzy, positive presence.  We like to think of His angels sent to protect us.  We believe that God wants us to be happy and without suffering and without pain - ever.  I think many of us see Him as a benevolent Presence that either does not have the power to really change much, or does not care to.  This is a God Who is weak.  He wishes that we would obey His commandments, but winks at us or shrugs His shoulders when we don't.  We tend to think He does not punish rebellion or disobedience.  We just aren't that concerned with comitting a sin here and a sin there because we know He will forgive. 

Think about this.  Take a moment to ask yourself if any of this sounds familiar.  Ask God to show you if these ideas are like some of your own.  Then listen for His answer.  Really listen.  Your life may depend on it.  Matthew 13:14-15 says this:  "You will keep on hearing but will not understand; and you will keep on seeing, but will not perceive; for the heart of this people has become dull.  And with their ears they scarcely hear.  And they have closed their eyes lest they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and understand with their heart and return, and I should heal them."  These are the words of Jesus. 

Louie Giglio says that God is big - really really big, and FEROCIOUS and POWERFUL.  Also loving.  Genesis 1 tells us that God designed and created the universe and the earth and everything on it.  (What kind of power would that take?)

He HATES sin  (not dislikes or overlooks).  The Bible is very clear that He is not nuetral or half-hearted about sin.  Proverbs 6:16-19 says, "There are six things the Lord hates, seven that are detestable to him:  a haughty look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that plots wicked schemes, feet swift in running to do evil, a false witness who lies with every breath, and him who sows strife among brothers."

Sin brings death, and God is all about life.  John 3:16 says, "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish but have everlasting life."

Would you - as a loving parent be tolerant of cancer or some gross deadly deformity in your child's life?  Certainly not!  And neither is God tolerant of sin in a person's life, because it results in death - eternal separation from Him.  Hell, is the finished product of sin.  God doesn't just send people to Hell.  They wind up there because sin has them in Hell's grip.  Unless a person receives the gift of cleansing and is delivered from sin and death by God's Son - Jesus Christ - he will have no hope of being saved.  Because we are born tainted in a tainted world we are not clean - we are full of sin.

You may be thinking, "But I'm a pretty good person.  I don't sin."  However the Bible says that "all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." (Romans 3:23)  Indeed we are born in sin.  It is attached to us with chains that cannot be broken with human hands alone.  In God's fierce love for us He came up with a way to free us and be with us, and keep us from death and darkness.

God is love.  He has such incredibly deep and abiding love for you, and for me, that He gave His Son .  "For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.  Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God's one and only Son."  (John 3:17-18).  Did you get that?  God doesn't condemn, but we are condemned already.  God is fearless and will go to any length to save you.  Indeed He already has.

Would a weak dispassionate God who winks at sin do all this???  Ask God Who He really is.  Respectfully ask.  Whoever He is, He is greater than mere man

How Is Your Faith Today?

How is your faith today?  Is it dependent upon your circumstances?  When things get bad does your faith weaken and falter?  Do you have to see to believe?  Or is your faith healthy and robust? 

As you deal with Parkinson's Disease (or whatever your problem) are you able to believe in the goodness of God?  Are you able to believe that God is sovereign when just days ago a young man went berserk in a movie theater and murdered people indiscriminantly and without mercy as he shot them?  Are you able to believe in God when you're living in a world ruled by mad men just itching to go nuclear?

I hope so.  If you are not able to trust in God and believe He is all the Bible claims Him to be, today, then how will you survive through tomorrow?  Our world is precariously perched on the edge of an abyss.  God told us ahead of time this was coming and He is warning us in many ways,that if we don't change course we could face what Joel Rosenberg refers to as "implosion". 

I don't know why we see evil that befalls the innocent, but I don't have to see to believe.  My mind is only able to understand so much, and then the rest must be taken on faith.  I believe that God is love, that He is all knowing and all powerful and present everywhere.  My mind is like a car that runs out of gas.  It can only take me so far.  Then I need gas to get me where I'm going.  The gas is faith. 

Now is not the time to doubt or to be unsure.  Make sure your faith is healthy today.

Just My Thoughts

Today I read a little bit about the Great Awakening.  After fifty years of prayer and fasting for revival, it came in the early to mid 1700s.  Some of the finest preachers of the time experienced great desire to preach the gospel, and at the same time, people became hungry and thirsty to hear about God.  Preaching out in the open instead of enclosed buildings caught on.  Thousands were saved.  This came at a time when government was corrupt and people didn't know the difference between going to church and actually knowing Jesus.  Men like Jonathan Edwards, George Whitefield, and John and Charles Wesley were born again.  They were highly educated but did not fall into intellectualism or elitist thinking.

Today I prayed for revival, as I have been doing for some time, though I feel I surely I need more inspiration to pray more passionately and for longer periods of time.  But, as I pointed out in the previous post, I have the time for prayer!

Today, I stood in the gap for friends and family.  I prayed through challenges resisting the urge to pick up the phone and dial-a-friend.

I have been inspired to seek a closer relationship with Jesus, wanting more and more as time goes on to be completely His without reservation. I want to hold back nothing so He might use me to bring others to Christ.  I want to be a blessing to my family and friends and even to strangers. 

These are just some of my thoughts today - because God gave me the time. What did you do with your day?  I'd love to hear....

Shalom

I believe I have written to you before about what I am about to relate, but it bears repeating.

I have written a lot about prayer and how important it is.  I could never stress the importance of prayer enough.  Those of you who are not able to work have been blessed with days filled and brimming over with opportunities to pray.  The Bible tells us to pray without ceasing.  It also says that God's house is a house of prayer.  These bodies that we dwell in - like the Israelite's tent dwellings -  when they wandered in the desert for forty years - are temporary "tents".  Your body is the temple of God on earth.  It should be a house of prayer.

Recently, my mother-in-law had a mini stroke and had to be taken to the ER of a local hospital.  I was there with my husband.  It was a creepy experience as the ER was quite lively that night.  The first thing we were confronted with was a man that looked homeless walking up and down the hall muttering and talking to himself.  He had a disturbed expression on his face.

Moments later we heard cursings and screams from a young man declaring that nothing was wrong with him and he wanted to go home.  He was drawing quite a crowd of hospital staff.

Finally, there was an elderly man in the bay next to us, and every 3 or 4 seconds he would wail.  No one paid him any attention.

After about 2 hours, still bothered by all the commotion, I thought, "All these outbursts are stealing the peace that should be here."  Then out of "no where" the thought came that the man who was wailing was being tormented (not physically but mentally).  God seemed to say to me, "Pray for him - he's being tormented."  So, I did............

Immediately the man was quiet.  There were no more wailings!  I realized that as Believers we are the light of the world.  Everywhere we go, we are to pray for people.  Our prayers can bring peace and God's love into any situation.  Be creative today.  Find as many people as you can to pray for.  You will be a peacemaker.

A Prayer to Start the Day

Lord, in the darkness of early morning, the possibilities of my day stretch out before me.  With trepidition I venture into the possibilites of this day as if they were patches of fog in a valley untraveled.  Already I am perplexed as to which way to go or what to do... so here I am - before your throne - in the presence of my King and my Father.

Please lead me through this day of endless options.  I don't know what I will face, so I am afraid.  This is not becoming to a child of the King.  I give You my fear, and You give me Your courage.  On this morning, I give you my weakness and You replace it with Your strength.  My sin for your righteousness.  Anxiety for Shalom....

I'm putting myself into Your own dear hands.  Guide me, protect me, and use me to Your glory.  I will hope in the good end of this day and believe that You have grown my faith and excercised it in the face of darkness and the unknown.

Together we are prepared.  Today we will move forward - You and I.  Thank you for hearing.  I love You so....

Face Giants by Remembering God

Our lives are populated with giants.  Giants are really big problems and they show up in our heads, our friendships, at work, at church, in marriages, at the doctor's office, in our families and every other place we go.  They must be faced and overcome or they will devour us. 

L. B. Cowman in Streams in the Desert says:  "'We will be stronger by overcoming them than if there had been no giants to defeat.'  In fact, unless we have overcoming faith, we will be swallowed up - consumed by the giants who block our path.  'With that same spirit of faith' (2 Cor 4:13) that Joshua and Caleb had, let us look to God, and He will take care of the difficulties."

Cowman says it so much better than I can, so the following is taken from the same devotion book as above:  "We encounter giants only when we are serving God and following Him.  It was when Israel was going forward that the giants appeared, for when they turned back into the wilderness, they found none.


Many people believe that the power of God in a person's life should keep him from all trials and conflicts.  However, the power of God actually brings conflict and struggles.  You would think that Paul, during his great missionary journey to Rome, would have been kept by God's sovereignty from the power of violent storms and of his enemies.  Yet just the opposite was true.  He endured one long, difficult struggle with the Jews who were persecuting him.  He faced fierce winds, poisonous snakes, and all the powers of earth and of hell.  And finally, he narrowly escaped drowning, by swimming to shore at Malta after a shipwrick nearly sent him to a watery grave.

Does this sound like a God of infinite power?  Yes, it is just like Him.  And that is why Paul told us that once he took the Lord Jesus Christ as his life in his body, a severe conflict immediately arose.  In fact, the conflict never ended.  The pressure on Paul was persistent, but from the conflict he always emerged victorious through the strength of Jesus Christ.


Paul described this in quite vivid language:  'We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down but not destroyed.  We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body" (2 Cor 4:8-10)."

Don't be dismayed and lose heart because tragedy has struck and you are faced with the impossible.  You will make it through your day - one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time and one decision at a time.  The mountain of accomplishment is scaled one persistant step at a time - one effort at a time - one bit of knowledge at a time.

The giants will be defeated through continuous application of Truth and the works which flow from this Truth.  Rabbi Michael L. Munk in The Wisdom in the Hebrew Alphabet says, " Do not believe that you have tried and failed.  Rather understand that you have not tried hard enough."

When you see giants, take a step back and remember Who God is then remember who your are.  Then taking one step at a time make choices and let your actions be in agreement with those two things.  Getting through your day is a process and it occurs time after time as the days go by.

How to Start Your Day

There are some things we all need to know in order to get through our day (and to do it successfully).  It's equally important for people who have disabilities as for those who don't.  The very first thing is to know there is a God.  Not just "a" God, but "THE" God.  Everyone knows that if the compass is not set properly, the destination will not be reached.  When I think about things from this premise- when I start out my day from this point - I have the right perspective. My starting point is grounded in Truth - not fact or fiction. I find that my center becomes God instead of me, myself and I!  From there, I remember that He is the Creator - MY Creator.  I find my purpose in Him.  I realize that He has work for me today.  I am not left with empty desires or fruitless jobs, but if I stay tuned into Him, I will be about His work.  At the end of the day, I will have a sense of accomplishment and contentment.  When I am doing those works He has designed for me, I find that I have sufficient strength, hope, faith, love and inspiration to work.

Does this mean I never experience fear or fatigue?  Does this mean my faith is not challenged or that I never lose sight of what's real?  No, that's not what it means.  If I make a mistake and make the wrong choices, I will see warning flags like confusion or guilt or remorse.  I am to take that directly to Jesus, Who will forgive, cleanse me and reset my compass.

I will have stress and difficulties along my path.  I will have to give up some of the things I would rather not in order that I may possess the better things. 

When the Israelites sent spies into the promised land, all but Joshua and Caleb were cast down and lost the vision that God had given them.  They looked at the situation from a strictly human perspective and as a result they saw giants.  They forgot Who made them, guided them and empowered them.  They forgot all God had done up to that point to beat the odds and to deliver them through EVERYTHING.  They forgot that even the Egyptian Pharoah and his army had been annihilated when they held God's people in bondage and would not let them go.

I'll speak more tomorrow about giants and what they represent and how we can deal with them....

Cool and Cloudy

Today is unseasonably cool.  It's cloudy with temperatures in the 60s.  Definitely sweater weather!  This is not my idea of a typical June day. 

Emotions are sort of like the weather.  One day you are hot only to be cool the next.  Our comfort levels change as circumstances outside of our control may be all over the map.  In other words, we are directly affected by the "weather" around us and we have no control over what may come. 

Certainly, for people with PD we are faced with new problems, new circumstances and unforseen events every day.  It can be more than we can handle at times.  So how do we stay steady and remain grounded in an unpredictable climate?  I do it through my relationship to Jesus.  If I didn't know that He is all powerful and loving I know I wouldn't make it through my crazy days!  I know that He has all knowlege and that He is merciful and forgiving.  I may not understand the why of what He does, but I don't have to.  Knowing who He is will be enough. 

When the weather turns bad suddenly, I know He is my shelter.  I trust Him to know what I don't, and I trust Him to be who He says He is.  Read your Bible today..........  You'll learn something new about Him.  It's all there - in the Bible..........  The answers....