On the Cross With Jesus

This world we live in is a stressful place. There is evil, greed, and every kind of selfishness. Danger is always present.  But we can also find light, kindness, goodness, and people who are willing to share.

We have no control over the actions of other people, so we can't control the amount of stress around us that we have to deal with. I find that trying to find that place where stress is non-existant is a waste of time.  A better thing to concentrate on is facing my problems, my fears, and my insufficiency and learning what to do with them. 

I don't think I'll ever reach the place where there is no fear.  At least not on this earth.  Having Parkinson's Disease brings up all kinds of fears.  I can't help that.  But rather than trying to battle them in my own humaness, hoping against hope for a reprieve, I can put those fears where they belong - at the feet of Jesus. 

To do this, I must first identify and face these fears.  It won't help to try and forget them or pretend they are not there.  Running from them will only wear you out.  Once I have identified them, then I mourn, and cry and grieve in the presence of God.  Tell Him all about your agony.  You can even go to God with your anger.  Then admit your powerlessness over these things you fear.  Our struggle to maintain control is nothing more than a mirage. 

It actually gets simple at this point.  I didn't say "easy".  But we now trust God to do as He pleases, believing that He is a loving, all-knowing, all-powerful God who works out His purposes in every day He gives us.

I remember as I struggled through this process (it will take longer for some than others), giving up my own hopes and dreams for this life, I told Him in all sincerity, that if there were any other place in the world I could go, that's where I would be.  But I had exhausted all other possibilities.  I found myself on the cross with Jesus.  My old self had to die with all of my old dreams, desires, and plans.  I did not choose it to be so, but this is where I found myself.

It was agonizing - letting go of my cherished hopes and dreams.  But Jesus knew exactly what I was going through.  In the Garden of Gethsemene, He too struggled with the impending reality of the cross.  He asked the Father 3 times to "let this cup pass" yet when He did not receive the answer He so desperately desired,  with resignation He faced death.....death on a cross.

When the diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease comes, recognize the dread of not knowing how your life will play out or how you will die.  Consider that you may lose loved ones because they can't deal with your tragedy.  But do it all in light of the wonderful reality that He will never leave you or forsake you ("He Himself has said, I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you."  -  Hebrews 13:5).  He will never ask you to do what He hasn't done before.  And know that your life will be what He has planned it will be ahead of time.  Jeremiah 29:11 says, For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope."

Now I can truly say with Paul and Timothy in Philippians 3:8 - "I count all things to be loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them but rubbish in order that I may gain Christ."  Trust Him, dear ones.  You will not be disappointed.  Trust and wait.........

How Is Your Faith Today?

How is your faith today?  Is it dependent upon your circumstances?  When things get bad does your faith weaken and falter?  Do you have to see to believe?  Or is your faith healthy and robust? 

As you deal with Parkinson's Disease (or whatever your problem) are you able to believe in the goodness of God?  Are you able to believe that God is sovereign when just days ago a young man went berserk in a movie theater and murdered people indiscriminantly and without mercy as he shot them?  Are you able to believe in God when you're living in a world ruled by mad men just itching to go nuclear?

I hope so.  If you are not able to trust in God and believe He is all the Bible claims Him to be, today, then how will you survive through tomorrow?  Our world is precariously perched on the edge of an abyss.  God told us ahead of time this was coming and He is warning us in many ways,that if we don't change course we could face what Joel Rosenberg refers to as "implosion". 

I don't know why we see evil that befalls the innocent, but I don't have to see to believe.  My mind is only able to understand so much, and then the rest must be taken on faith.  I believe that God is love, that He is all knowing and all powerful and present everywhere.  My mind is like a car that runs out of gas.  It can only take me so far.  Then I need gas to get me where I'm going.  The gas is faith. 

Now is not the time to doubt or to be unsure.  Make sure your faith is healthy today.

Spiritual Ticks

I was recently doing some reading on Lyme's Disease. I read that some people with Lyme's have been misdiagnosed as having PD. I don't know whether that's true or not, but it got me thinking of spiritual parallels. Just like the danger of getting a tick bourne disease from a walk through the yard, we must be aware that there is much in the world that is evil. Unsuspecting the risk, we go through our day without a thought for the scheming the enemy (Satan) has done and the pits he has dug to try and trap us. He wants to shut us down – put us out of commission. He lurks in unsuspected places.



But thinking we are safe - and that there is no risk – and that we have matters under control – we are unaware of the danger. Evil does exist and it is sometimes unseen, or invisible to us just as a tick bourne illness that resides in the infected tick is not seen. Though small and undetected, it is not to be underestimated.



I'm not trying to scare you, and I'm not suggesting that behind every encounter or opportunity lies something evil. I'm merely suggesting that we are more dependent on God to keep us safe than we know.



Evil predators searching out a victim rove back and forth across all of creation – quick to detect our movement or catch our scent. Feeling the warmth of our breath these parasites stealthily follow our trail.



Just don't forget Who has you in the palm of His hand. Don't forget Who gives you armor for protection. Don't forget Who gives you warnings in His Word and tells you how to live and avoid calamity. He is at work protecting us even when we don't know it. Where our bodies are weak, He is strong. Let that encourage you today. He will never leave you, or forsake you!



Be as wise as serpents, but as innocent as doves.

Talk

How are you with talking to people about your disability?  Maybe you're embarrassed, or fearful to talk about it.  Maybe you feel like if you can ignore it or talk around it then somehow it's not as bad, or not there at all.  Maybe it's somehow not real if you ignore it.

WRONG!

When we tell others our stories or share some of our problems with friends, it somehow lightens our burden.  Others are blessed when we share a little bit about OUR burdens.  Some are inspired by our courage and strength, and some are an encouragement to US.  Don't waste all that you have learned by not telling.  Let others in on the lessons that you have had to pay dearly to learn.  Lighten your burden by sharing and bless someone by acknowleging your struggles. I believe that's part of our purpose here on this earth.... taking what we have and giving it to someone who needs it.

I have realized anew that life is not all about me.  I am a vibrant and necessary part in this world, at this time, and so are you, but there is so much more.  It's actually a relief to realize that and forget my inhibitions or discomfort for a while and speak freely.

So, now having said that, I'll touch on opportunities to share.  I find that God almost always brings someone to me, and they will usually lead the conversation quite naturally in the direction of an openning for me to share.  Pray for opportunites like that.  He is just LOOKING for someone to share our life in Him with someone who needs to hear it.  Ask Him for a chance to do this.  If we are willing and make ourselves available, He will honor that request.

No matter if you are sick or what your burden may be, you have something to share and somebody has a need to hear it.

A Call to Prayer

Anxiety......., anger..........., fear..........., confusion......, loss of hope........ Let's be honest. We all experience these "ungodyly" feelings. When these feelings come, do you try to hide them or talk yourself out of them? Do you wonder if people will get a wrong idea of God when it's apparent that you are struggling with these feelings? After all, shouldn't a Believer have enough faith in God that we don't experience doubt or waver in our confidence in Him?

The answer, is NO. When a new day stretches before you, filled with obstacles that you cannot hurdle; when you are terrified; when you know that you must depend on someone else to tend to your basic needs; when you are bowed down with sorrow because you can't do even the simplest task; when all you want to do is cry....... be honest. Tell God about it. These feelings are indicative of a big problem. One that you don't know how to solve. But stop just a moment and think about this: these feelings are also a call to prayer. Take these heartaches to God. King David did this. He certainly didn't hide them, but in fact wrote songs about his troubles!

Today we read of his godly reaction to trouble. He didn't pretend he had no problems so he would be a better witness before the nation. He didn't believe in speaking only the positive. He let all the world see that His God is not only merciful and forgiving, but bigger than any sin David could committ. He let these emotions lead Him to prayer. See how David deals with these hurdles in his life as he cries to the Lord (Psalm 28:1):

"To you I call, O Lord my Rock; do not turn a deaf ear to me. For if you remain silent, I will be like those who have gone down to the pit. Hear my cry for mercy as I call to you for help."

Your feelings of being overwhelmed are Jesus knocking at your door. In Revelation 3:20 He puts it like this: "Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him and he with me". He's saying bring your troubles to Me. And when He says ,"I will come in and eat with him and he with me", He is remembering His covenant with you, Believer! Did you know that part of being in covenant with someone is that you take on their enemies and they take on yours. And when you run out of strength, mine will strengthen you.

When troubles come and overwhelming feelings knock at your door, open the door to Jesus. Let Him in. He will deal with what you cannot. Believer,He waits for you......

From What Spirit do You Speak?

Do you ever consider the source of what comes out of your mouth? Yes, it's hard being ill and continually dealing with life or death issues, but does that mean that I have a right to complain or gossip or to feel like the world owes me something in light of the "bad hand" I have been dealt?

I have been convicted lately by the Holy Spirit to make sure I speak from the Spirit of Jesus Christ, and not from Satan. Or even to be careful what I listen to. From what spirit do those around me speak?

Jesus was quick to shut Satan down when he spoke through the mouth of Peter. He said, "Get thee behind Me, Satan"! Learn to quickly assess whether the spirit that your friend speaks from is from Christ or Satan. Even people who are motivated by good can be used by Satan to build a stronghold and in so doing quench the Holy Spirit. Even I can spontaneously speak from the wrong spirit, so I must be diligent in resisting Satan.

How do I do that? By filling my mind with God's Word - the Bible and through prayer to Him. It becomes easier to detect a deceitful spirit, when you are constantly looking into God's Spirit.

My prayer is that God would increase my love for Him in my heart, to the point that I will not coddle a thought or a notion that is not in agreement with His great love. I must have no sympathy whatsoever for what is not Truth, for it leads to death every time. May it never be that my words be building blocks for Satan's stronghold.

An Excellent Point of View

This morning I read the devotion from L. B. Cowman's Streams in the Desert:

Sorrow, under the power of divine grace, performs various ministries in our lives. Sorrow reveals unknown depths of the soul, and unknown capacities for suffering and service. Lighthearted, frivolous people are always shallow and are never aware of their own meagerness or lack of depth. Sorrow is God's tool to plow the depths of the soul, that it may yield richer harvests. If humankind were still in a glorified state, having never fallen, then the strong floods of divine joy would be the force God would use to reveal our souls' capacities. But in a fallen world, sorrow, yet with despair removed, is the power chosen to reveal us to ourselves. Accordingly, it is sorrow that causes us to take the time to think keeply and seriously.

Sorrow makes us move more slowly and considerately and examine our motives and attitudes. It opens within us the capacities of the heavenly life, and it makes us willing to set our capacities afloat on a limitless sea of service for God and for others.

Many people live casually on the outer edge of their own souls until great thunderstorms of sorrow reveal hidden depths within, which were never before known or suspected.

God never uses anyone to a great degree until He breaks the person completely. Joseph exdperienced more sorrow than the other sons of Jacob, and it led him into a ministry of food for all the nations.

Calling a Spade a Spade

Lord, may my words be like medicine on a wound.... Help me not to skirt issues, and guard me against being fearful of offending people with wrong attitudes and deceptive behavior. Help me instead to be to the point, forgiving and gentle, but absolutely intolerant of the prideful or deceitful ways of the enemy. Give me the courage to speak truth. Forgive me when in times past I have cared more about what people think than what You think. Forgive me when my words have wounded and cut. Thank you for Your grace, mercy and love.

Pointless or Purposeful

There are so many things I have learned because I have PD. I can tell you these things and hopefully inspire you to also look and see what experiencing the pain of this disease has done for you. If you aren't finding anything, then I would say that the pain and anguish this disease has put you through has all been wasted.
There are two kinds of pain: 1) - pointless pain and 2) purposeful pain. Pointless pain gains you nothing and makes you bitter. Purposeful pain grows you up and teaches you about people.

So, either way you can have pain but will it be pointless or purposeful?

What Does Quarried Stone Have to do With Hope?

As disease progresses in your body, the temptation to lose hope that we will ever see better days becomes greater and greater. We desperately want to be healed but the hope for this begins to ebb away like the tide going out, as days and weeks turn to months and years. The Bible says that "hope deferred makes the heart sick."

What precisely is hope? Noah Webster says (in his 1828 dictionary) that it is "to cherish a desire of good with some expectation of obtaining it, or a belief that it is obtainable." It's not the same as a wish.

If we break down the idea of hope we find that it's substance is faith ("Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen (Hebrews 11:1). So when we hope for healing it means that we desire what cannot at the moment be seen, but despite this we entertain some expectation of possiby receiving this miraculous gift. When it doesn't come we become heartsick. So how do we avoid the painful and dreadful loss of hope?

At one point in my life, I experienced the final death of the hope for healing. I asked God to let me die and bring me home to be with Him. There was no drama - just a sincere request for death. I couldn't imagine living any longer with nothing to live for.

Isaiah 49:23b says, "Those who hope in Me will not be disappointed."

So, here is the answer: we are to hope in the giver of good gifts - the One who CAN heal. Yes we still want freedom from disease, but hope within the context of the God who has the knowledge and power to give it. And we do that by looking back in our own lives and also in the history of His relationship with His people to see how He has made promises and fulfilled them. Then we are encouraged and strengthened to wait but a little longer.

Isaiah 51:1-5 says "Listen to me you...who seek the Lord; Look to the rock from which you were cut and to the quarry from which you were hewn; Look to Abraham, your father, and to Sarah, who gave you birth. When I called him, he was but one, and I blessed him and made him many. The Lord will surely comfort Zion and will look with compassion on all her ruins (the ruins of PD); He will make her deserts like Eden(the deserts of PD), her wastelands (the wastelands of PD) like the garden of the Lord. Joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the sound of singing.... My righteousness draws near speedily, my salvation is on the way and my arm will bring justice...."

Here is our promise for healing!!! God is speaking DIRECTLY to you who belong to Him! He says to you who seek the Lord (and His healing). Don't look to technology or research or the medical community for your healing (though many times He will use those things to heal) but look to He who makes promises to His people and then in the midst of impossibilites does wonders. For many long years after God promised a child to Abraham and Sarah, they waited, seemingly barren. But Isaac was born to them in their old age - when for "man" - it was not possible. God fulfilled His promise to them, and He will fulfill His promise to His children - IN HIS OWN TIME. Wait on God you who are heartsick and weary.

"COME TO ME, ALL YOU WHO ARE WEARY AND BURDENED, AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST." Matt. 11:28

In a Word, Jesus

Throughout the years I have had Parkinson's Disease, the one thing that has comforted me most has been Jesus. Without Him nothing would mean anything and all that we suffer would be without purpose. No blessings would be brought forth and nothing good would come from the bad things we go through.

If I could tell you just one thing and nothing more, I would tell you that every pain I've ever had has found it's relief in Jesus. I have risen above every tragedy and found comfort in Jesus. His Word has guided me whenever I needed guidance. He is the answer to every tough question and the revealer of mysteries. He doesn't just get me through the darkness - He IS the Light. In a word, - Jesus. I know what He has done for me in my life. I know His voice and I feel His love. His ways and plans may be impenetrable but I can trust Him. He makes sense of my life. He is the best thing that ever happened to me. This is what I would tell you.

The Past, The Present, and The Future, Part 2

It has been a thing I could not truly comprehend - that someone could love me and not hurt me continually. For the most part, this is all I have ever known. "Love" has always hurt. The people who were supposed to love me, hurt me. Someone's verbal admission of "love" for me went hand-in-hand with suffering of the worst kind that must be endured with no end in sight (after all the Bible tells us "love never ends"). The focus is on the pain - not mine or anyone else's well-being. Nothing could be farther from the truth!

If we don't know what true love is, then how do we protect ourselves from what is not love? I have spent my life choosing to be around people who want someone to make them happy, and I had become someone who only knows how to give until there was no life or love left within me. This is what I thought it was to love someone. This is what I knew how to do. The sick cycle went on and on as I hoped to finally earn the love I so desperately needed. I tried to accomplish just once being useful enough to be loved. Each succeeding failure brought the thought that perhaps I had not tried hard enough.

My need for love and the powerful drive behind it to find it kept the cycle going. I wasn't intentionally failing. I was just trying to find what is necessary for life.

The sin of my parents (intentional or NOT) left me like a bird with a broken wing, unable to leave the nest THEY built for me - unable to trust God - not able to believe that He would not let me plummet to my destruction, but would swoop beneath me and carry me like the mother eagle as she teaches her young to fly and soar on the edges of the wind, high and far above their enemies.

So, to hear that God is love, brought me to a tense awareness of the notion that my salvation and sanctification are and will be inseparable from the pain I have always known that is beyond my ability to endure. The logical conclusion of that erroneous premise is that I am lost - beyond saving.

The truth is that God IS love. Our parents may not have loved us with God's love, but here is what He has to say about that: "For my father and my mother have forsaken me, but the Lord will take me up."

I thank Him and praise Him that He does not leave us with broken wings, hopelessly stuck in the cycle that repeats again and again leaving us in bondage. I praise Him that He is real love, and He is truth, and it is a very good thing!

"You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free." John 8:32

"Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles. They will run and not get tired. They will walk and not become weary." Isaiah 40:31

Set Them Free

Dear Lord,

With all of my heart I ask your blessings of grace, mercy and forgiveness upon all of those less fortunate than me. I lift up to You those who don't know You yet. I call forth Your tender mercies that are new today for those in my heart. Help me by some miracle to be a light, an inspiration and a comfort to everyone You will bring me into contact with today and everyone in my past. Even if it's only through a memory they have of me.

I forgive and release every person who has ever sinned against me. I ask for a full pardon where there has been injury, pride, and unforgiveness. Let no one be held accountable for wrongs done to me, but set them free through forgiveness.

May every mistake I have ever made be used to lead people to the Truth, and let my life be a prayer today. Help me to joyfully give the kindness and love that I desire to receive.

Father, somehow use this flawed life of mine to work beautiful things into the lives of everyone You will bring me into contact with. Thank you for limitless grace.