Patience Will Guard Me

I haven't been writing to you of late, and I apologize for my absence. It's not that you are forgotten. You are very much in my thoughts and in my heart.
As always, this time of year is stressful to me. As many wonderful things there are going on in my life at this time, there are also worries and things to deal with that are not so wonderful. It takes alot of my energy to send those worries away from my door. Sometimes I feel like all of my time is spent slamming the door on temptations of all kinds, so that they don't invade my thoughts and burden my heart. Today I'm going to try a new strategy. I' m going to dwell on Truth and fill my mind with it BEFORE Depression, and Sadness and all of their cousins begin their disruptive incessant knocking at my door. This is what I will meditate on today: The Bible tells us that God is love. In 1 Corinthians, we read that love is patient.... So I can deduce that God is patient.
How wonderful my day will be as I think about the fact that God does not get impatient with me. Not when I am slow writing my name, or slow to understand the point that someone is making. Not when my walk is slower than everyone else's and my friends have to go at a slower pace so that I am not left behind. God doesn't get impatient with me when I forget that I have already told everyone the same story more than once, or when I forget what I am saying mid-sentence. Even if those around me are impatient with me,I will remember to be patient with their impatience!
Noah Webster defines patience in his 1828 dictionary as: "the sufferings of afflictions, pain, toil, calamity, provation or other evil with a calm unruffled temper; endurance without murmuring or fretfulness; a calm temper which bears evil without murmuring or discontent."
That's our God. That's our Saviour and Redeemer. I will think of all things today in light of this truth. And I will remember if God is patient with me, then I should be patient with myself. I will remember the hope He gives for restoration and total healing one day.

Hurry Up - Or Wait

Parkinson's Disease imposes many restrictions. One is that I am slowed down a great deal. I cannot initiate quick movements. Even my tongue has slowed down and it's sometimes so frustrating to not be able to roll the words off of my tongue like I used to so effortlessly do. It certainly could be worse though. No one has a problem understanding me.

But I have had to develope patience. It takes me much longer to make the bed or write a sentence than it does for most people. If I'm not careful I can start to listen to that inner nagging voice that says, "Hurry! Everyone is tired of waiting for you! You are SOOOO slow! Don't even try if you can't do better than that". This is a voice that I need to ignore. This is not the gentle voice of God. He is patient and kind. There have been times in the past when I opted not to try, thinking my slow response would be worse than no response at all, but I came to see that this is not true. I learned to recognize which voice was God's voice. And I came to see that He does not impose on me tasks which I'm too slow to do. Perhaps the task is one that is best done slowly and one that takes the persistance of a slow and deliberate person. His voice always encourages and gives hope. And most important of all, I learned that He waits for me! What a beautiful thing............. God waiting on me...........

Waiting With Patience

Parkinson's Disease has slowed me down alot. I think it is a good thing. Because, I could no longer zip through chores, I learned patience. I learned that the process of accomplishing something is every bit as important as the completion of a task. My character is formed and refined within those waiting moments. Parkinson's Disease taught me that things just can't be rushed, and if you are feeling a pressing feeling to move ahead but have no peace, then it's probably not the right "voice" to listen to. Hated disease though it is, I have to say, it is a very good instructor. Once again, I can now see that God knew what it would take to cause me to grow and bloom. And He has taught me through the patience I learned, to wait on Him. I wait peacefully, knowing that He is Who He says He is and He can do what He says He can do. It's a beautiful thing, knowing how to wait for the Truth to unfold.
Thank you, heavenly Father that You care for Your children. There are parts of life - realms of existence - that cannot be explored or entered unless faith is employed, and so I thank you for the gift of faith that You give. We all have some measure of faith. Scripture tells us that Jesus is the author and perfector of our faith, and that it will be refined by fire. Thank you for developing the patience I need in waiting for You to perfect me.

What am I to do With My Past?

I decided to write a book. It's all about my journey with Parkinson's Disease. I want to tell the world what I learned and how I coped. I want to share with the world my conversations with God throughout the toughest times. I want someone to know. But more than anything, I want to glorify God (Who never left me) and testify to the world that there IS a God, and He loves us and has a purpose for every life.
Sounds alright........... Nothing wrong with that.
But I can't find a literary agent! I am told that without one, I'll never get past the front door of a publishing company. I can't get published because I don't have an agent; I can't find an agent because I've not been published. This makes about as much sense to me as the disease. Meanwhile, the hope that I can point you to, stays in my book...that's not published.
I learned alot about God and His neverending love becauses of this disease, and I learned patience as I watched God unfold His plan for me according to HIS time table, and I really just want to spread the good news that hope is never lost for those who belong to Jesus Christ. I don't think this disease taught me anything about finding an agent................ But wait. Maybe it did. Didn't I just type the words, "hope is never lost for those who belong to Jesus Christ"? And something about patience................