From Coal to Light

Today is my birthday.  In the scheme of things, I am 59 years closer to heaven!  On reflection there are many things I would choose to have been different than they were.  Parkinson's Disease for instance.  I would wipe that dark spot right off of my "timeline".  But if I did that, I wouldn't know the things that I know.  I wouldn't know God's comfort in the midst of this disease's darkness and pain.  I would not have the authority to speak of riding out the darkest of nights by faith in the Son of God.  I would not be able to have empathy or sympathize with the dark reality of this disease in your life.  My encouragement to you to endure until the better day comes would be empty words untried and not tested. 
I have been  and do daily walk through the fire that you are walking through.  The flames are all ingulfing - there is no doubt.  The pain of it is all but unbearable at times.  Parts of us are being burned away.  We are consumed as the flames do their damage. 
I would have doused this fire and denied its power over me if I could have.  Wouldn't we all?  But God in His strange mercy let the fire burn as I was turned from coal into something useful. You see, coal can be used to produce electricity.  Electricity runs machines and heats houses.  It lights our homes.  There are countless advantages and many blessings that come from electricity.  But it takes coal which must be crushed and pulverized.  The finer the powder it is crushed into the more efficiently it will burn. 
Suffering with disease is like being crushed into fine powder and scorched by unbearable heat.  We would resist if we could.
I am reminded of the verse that says, "Bind with cords the sacrifice to the horns of the altar."  (Psalm 118:27)  In my own case, I would have crawled off of this altar had I not been securely fastened down upon it.  Even though we do not choose to suffer in the valley of Parkinson's Disease, we must choose to trust Him.  Though we do not see any good that may come, we must believe that He will bring light out of our darkness.

"the people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned."   Isaiah 9:2   

A Pound of Flesh

Whenever I sin against you, I have done something that can never be taken back or undone. I have caused pain. And whether or not I understood exactly, how much pain it would cause or how deep a wounding it would be – and whether or not I intended to cause you pain or harm – it's still a sin against you. I am responsible for harming you.

That day on Golgotha did the Jews and Romans fully understand that they were murdering the Son of God? Did they set out that day to kill God's Son? Even in the midst of the crucifixion did they fully understand what they were doing? No, I think not. But they became guilty of that crime nevertheless. Jesus would carry the scars into eternity.

No matter what their intent or how much they understood they were still guilty of murder. They were still responsible for the torture and the crucifixion of God's Son. Nothing anyone could do would ever change this.

Cain could never do anything to bring Able back from the dead. It didn't matter if he was sorry for what he did or not. He would forever be guilty of murdering his brother and Able would remain dead.

Adam and Eve would be guilty of disobeying God and would suffer the consequences of their sin until the end of their days. Did it matter that they didn't understand that now all men would suffer death because of what they did? Did it matter that this was not their desire or intent? They had to suffer the consequence and pain of their sin. They could not remain in the Garden of Eden. Others had to bear the pain of their sin.

Do you think that Jesus had to suffer any less because Judas' betrayel was not meant to wound Him as much as it was done to advance Judas? He was distraught to the point of suicide over what his actions had caused, but that did not make him less guilty. Jesus suffered horribly because of Judas' sin against Him.

The Bible is filled with examples of this. David sinned against Uriah who unjustly endured the consequences of it. Paul was beaten more than once because he preached the gospel and tried to impart its power to helpless hopeless men. Don't think that your sin will go unnoticed or that no one will be hurt because of it. Don't think that you are the less guilty because you did not mean for another to get hurt. And don't try and excuse yourself from the guilt of the crime or make it less offensive because you meant no harm.

A law broken is exactly that. It is either broken or it is not. What's wrong must be made right. But we are powerless to do that. Can Cain bring Able back to life? Can Adam undo his disobedience? Can he erase the heartbreak he caused God when he disobeyed, lied to and hid from Him? Could David bring his own child back to life? Could he remove the ache from Bathsheba's empty arms? No. The pain of sin is bitter.

God introduced a new option – a new way to deal with sin. It's called FORGIVENESS. It does not take away the pain of a ruined reputation or a life destroyed. It does not erase wrongdoing. It does not make the wound smaller. But it pays the price of our own wickedness – yours and mine. It removes the guilt of our sin. It satisfies JUSTICE. It balances the books and pays our debt. It does not take the pain away that sin causes. It is more powerful than that. It makes possible GOOD. It triumphs over death. It releases the guilty from their punishment. It pays our debt. It sets us free from our sin. because Jesus PAID.

It does not remove the consequence of pain. My sorrow over the betrayel of someone against me does not just disappear. But the sin itself was charged to Jesus' account and taken from the sinner's account. That pound of flesh I wanted was given alright – just not by the sinner. Jesus gave it. I now must release my desire for revenge. I got my pound of flesh – from the Son of God. If I insist on revenge after that, I am saying Jesus didn't pay for the world's sin and He didn't satisfy the penalty for sin. I'm calling God a liar.

The sinner now has a choice:

1)try to pay for his sins and make them right himself.

Or

2)accept Jesus's payment on our behalf for his sin.

If I choose the first option, I will remain in debtor's prison until every bit of repayment is made. If I choose option two I humbly accept God's gift of payment on my behalf – I let go of the demand for you to “make it up” to me, and I love in the midst of the pain you caused me, because that's what HE did for ME! Why else do you think Jesus was a man of sorrows?

Let go of the sin I sinned against you. I must let go of the sin you sinned against me. We got that pound of flesh we wanted – when whips tore His flesh; when the words broke His heart; when His clothes were taken and He hung naked upon the cross; when the nails were pounded into His wrists, and when He saw the Father's back.

His pound of flesh.... It is enough. It is more than enough.

FATHER, forgive me. I knew not what I did....

The Voice of the Dove

The dove has wakened! Her sweet call begins this morning as she wakes to a new day. I love her voice. God has made her song different from all others. It is He that directs her heart. To some there is no distinction – between her call and that of another, but to God – who knows her – and who gives her voice – she sings a beautiful tribute to His wonder – unique – as only she can give in praise to Him from her spot in the yard. The stunning beauty of this new day is received by her and proclaimed in the wonder of her language to me and the world! Though you can't hear her – she is powerful to move you – to set your heart ablaze with praise to her Maker – because I have told you in my own way how she moves me.

You and I are like the dove. We are moved by Creation and filled with our own praises to Him from our own vantage point in the garden where He has put us. Creation is there for all of us to see. Sing with us – the dove and I – from your own spot in the garden – whether that be in joy or in sorrow. Harmonize with us! Resonate with the Holy Spirit! Sing out to the world and give witness to His greatness and love from wherever you are – a mournful song or a song of joy – both breathtaking to our Maker – both jewels to be laid at His feet. It is proof of our faith in His goodness whether our garden is sickness or health. Sing with us – the dove and I.

Like a Dove Over a Flood of Death and Deep Waters

Well, I see that the world has survived yet into another day, and I am here to see it, by the will of God.  I want to make use of this day and advance His kingdom.  I want what I do, and say and think today  to serve only to glorify Him.

I want to grace the world around me like the dove whose gentle, plaintive cry I am hearing at this moment.  I doubt whether anyone besides myself can hear her.  But her voice and her expression will be passed on from me to you - my readers - who may then pass the message on to others.  God will give it wings as it pleases Him.

Heavenly Father, plant your message in my heart this morning - then give it wings to go where You will that it goes.  May it find a home in the hearts of all You have chosen, like the dove which Noah set free from the ark when the rain had stopped (Genesis 8:11).  She did not return void of the new life but brought Him a freshly picked olive leaf.  Eventually she did not come back at all, but established a new life in this world.

Amidst the flood of immorality, disease and ungodliness, let my voice go out as a dove over the murky waters of death, bringing life to the hearts you have prepared.

The Giver and the Good Gifts He Gives

There are many ways to express yourself.  In expressing myself, I share myself; I organize my thoughts about something well enough to write them or speak them.  Sometimes my expressions are wordless.  Sometimes I express a part of me by singing or doing artwork.  Each mode of expression gives "voice" to something that's going on inside of me. 

My favorite form of expression would be writing and doing artwork.  I believe that God has given me these gifts to whatever degree I may claim them as mine.  I believe that surely He has gifted me (I cannot take credit for ANY gift that He has given) for my own benefit in that it is -  I believe - very healing to engage in your giftings.

If you have Parkinson's Disease, or any other disorder, take a little while and ponder, "What are my giftings?"  Some of us have more gifts than others, but I believe that God has given everybody something.  If your disease makes it hard to engage your gifts, then get creative!  Ask God  to show you how to put the gifts He has given you to good use for both yourself and for others.  He will do it.  And remember, even if your body won't cooperate with you, think of things you CAN do.

I knew a woman who was wheelchair bound.  The last year of her life she was bed-ridden.  She was completely paralyzed.  She couldn't even cough to clear her lungs.  She was a psychologist by trade and continued to counsel people professionally well into her last few months.  She decided she wanted to write a book, but that was going to be difficult since she couldn't write and she couldn't talk due to a tracheotomy.  I volunteered to write down - word for word - what she wanted her book to say - as she mouthed her words.  A dear friend of hers helped also.  We both did the transcribing, and the book was finished before she went home to be with the Lord.

Find a way to use your gifts.  Don't neglect using them and don't say you don't have any.  Show the Giver of all good gifts your gratitude by giving what you can. 

Forgiveness

1/28/13

It hurts. It involves reliving the pain of a wound inflicted. It means even though I've decided to forgive and embraced the pain of forgiving – today – this hour – this minute - I am committed to doing so another 70 x 7s. Every time the ugy act is remembered – every time I am confronted with the pain of an undeserved blow that – like falling dominoes – multiplies as others are drawn into the fray; every time I am forced to rebuild a wall that someone has thoughtlessly torn down; whenever I am overcome with the anguish of betrayel – and like a lamb I was fattened for the kill; when lies were told against me resulting in the ruin of my reputation; when someone – out of meaness strikes a killing blow; even when no one cares – I must forgive.

NOT forget – but forgive. Only God can perfectly forget. To forgive does not mean that we forget the offense ever happened, and we go back to acting as if it never occurred. It means to bear the pain of the offense – give full recognition to the offense and still love, still refuse to retaliate, every time it comes to mind, even if that's 70 x 7 a day.

We are not to distinguish between what sins done against us are “manageable”, and which are overwhelmingly unbearable. Which are deserved – and which are not.

We are to forgive – love in spite of the pain. And if any one of us isn't sure what that means or what that looks like, then go to 1 Corinthians 13. Hold your thoughts, feelings and actions up against this chapter to see where you fall short. Forgiveness is not about sin, but it's about ME and how I react to sin.

Jesus was a man of sorrows – His life was filled with the pain of the betrayel of those He loved. And His response in the midst of that kind of pain – was – and still is – to forgive – to love.

Why did Jesus say that we are to forgive 70 x 7 times? Because He understood that the offense will come to mind 70 x 7 times (or more) and each time we must forgive. Forgiveness is not a one time event. It is 70 x 7.

There are 7 days in a week, and we are to forgive every day of the week – no exceptions. And just as the number 7 represents perfection or completeness, so forgiveness is God's love perfected in me and in you.

King of Kings and Lord of Lords

I just want to encourage and lift up those of you who are having a hard time right now.  You are not alone.  The whole world is aching.  Things are upside down out there. We are wounded and slowly bleeding out.   If you are a Believer, you are like a square trying to fit into a round hole!  I have just one word for you:  JESUS.  He is the truth, the light, the all knowing, all powerfull, kind and merciful, forgiver of sins, whose strength never runs out, who can make all things work together for good for His own, who is the revealer of all things hidden, whose understanding is unfathomable.... 

This world is not our home, and we are fast losing our freedom.  Our government does not protect us or even allow us to make wise choices.  Take heart precious one....  He will remove your fear....  In Him you will overcome ALL.  In Him you are safe.  Draw near to Him.  Walk in His shadow.  Never let go!  Don't be deceived.  He is EVERYTHING.