Saturday, March 8, 2014
Slowly consciousness dawns on me. It's still dark. Lord.... I'm here............... We are silent . Whatever may come today, give me the courage and strength I will need to live for You. Lord, I remember each of my children to You this morning. Please protect them. Save them from whatever intends evil toward them. Lord, what is my life without You? There is no life without You. Your Word is in my mind and in my heart, and I will speak Your Words to someone today, somewhere. I'll wait for You to nudge me so that I'll know when.
A tear rolls down my cheek and a sound comes from my throat. I love those children You gave me, Father.. I don't want to be with You without them. Everywhere I look there are lost and dying people who don't even know they are sick. I want to help. But my words won't make any difference. So lead me to speak Words of life - Your Words.
Your Word is my sword of the spirit...........my heart rises some as I think on how my Beloved loves me. You know, Lord, You make me laugh. That funny story we wrote together about Ellen yesterday made me laugh so hard, the tears were blinding me.
Help me keep a sharp mind would You? I feel so bad when I think that I might become someone's job - someone's problem as I grow older. I don't want to be a crazy old woman that can't remember things and spells all the words wrong............. I still feel guilt and shame when I think of my impatience with my grandmother who lost a little more and more of herself each time I would see her. I'm quiet, while this sinks into my mind.
You know, this really doesn't matter, but I want to feel pretty today. I want to look like someone who loves you. I'm quiet once again and in my mind I see You sitting next to me, listening and watching me.
C'mon, Lord.........I want some coffee.......You come too.......... And I'll listen while You fill me in on what the plan is today.................