Look Full in His Wonderful Face....

I've been dealing with some things.  Sometimes it gets me down and sometimes it doesn't.  Either way it occupies my mind.  And I'm aware that I can choose to 1) deal with troubles in the same way I always have (which often leaves me confused, anxious and fearful)).  This is the way where nothing really changes or is resolved.  This is the way where I leave this bundle of problems wherever they fall instead of 2) turning my face away from the sight of these unhappy things and turning full into the face of Jesus.   It's hard to change the way I've always done things even though it has always left me feeling terrible or undone. 
We can all arrive at this fruitless place of indecision and fatigue.  But when the burden you shoulder, begins to drag you under, stop!  Do what you have perhaps never done before....  Look to Jesus.  Remember the truth about all things that He has shown you.  Don't try to think your way out of trouble, but use your mind to review what is truth.   Don't try and figure out how Jesus will get you out of this mess, but leave that to Him.  Just direct your attention and your hurting heart towards Him.
Here's an example:  Yesterday I was losing the battle against a bunch of problems.  I was feeling worse and worse.  But here's where I got smart:  I asked myself what I was really afraid of.  The answer came back abandonment.  So what truth would be applicable and would answer that fear? 
Matthew 28:20 - "Lo, I am with you always; even unto the end of the age."  I didn't need to know what that truth would look like in my life, or how it would play out.  I just believed it.  And you know, I experienced a flood of relief.  This is faith.
Those of us with PD have a number of problems, and it can easily make us feel hopeless.  But you have to decide what you're going to do and how you'll handle it when problems present.  I encourage you to try what I did. 

Do You Listen?

Part of praying is listening........  Listening to God.  In order to listen, you must be in a quiet place.  I find that having PD has afforded me much of each day where there is quiet and stillness; even a hush.  Without this unpleasantness in my life, the "noise" of daily life would fill those spaces where the quiet whispers of God now are welcomed. 
Perhaps your disabilites have also made possible the sound ideas, the exhange of love, the hearing of the guiding voice, and receipt of the comfort He gives, inside of you.  If you are not conversing with God - and I don't mean a one-way flow of the expression of your needs, your wants, your thoughts and your opinions - then how is that relationship?
Have you ever known someone who spouted a steady stream of information all about themselves whenever they were with you, not caring to engage in curiosity about you  or even wanting your input?  If you force in a word edgewise, they drown you out, or interupt you. It's just plain rude.  You walk away feeling unwanted, not needed, not treasured,....  not loved.  This kind of person isn't looking for love in a relationship, but only wants to enjoy the spotlight without a care in the world for you or your problems.  Do you think God is hurt any less when we do this to Him?
Use your PD to learn something.  Learn to listen to God who loves you.  Take advantage of the quiet.  It really is all about Him..........

Talents and Treasure

"For whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he reap."   (Gal. 6:7)

To sow means to scatter on the ground for the purpose of growth and production (propagation) of a crop. Propagation means to extend by planting and establishing in places before destitute. 

I have been pondering the idea of sowing and reaping.  I think I always associated it with the negative idea that the evil we do will eventually effect us personally as well as effecting those around us.  But it also has positive implications.  As I "scatter" and sow God's word - the truth - then I am sharing the gospel and hoping for some kind of a harvest.  If I don't scatter and sow, I will be like the man who received the talent (Matt. 25:14-30) from his master, and instead of using it to make more money, he did nothing with it (he buried it). 
What are your talents?  If you think that because of your PD, you have no talents, you are wrong.  Even if God had not given you certain giftings, there is one thing that everyone can give - .  It is the priceless Word of God - the Bible.  You are here on this earth at this time to use what you have been given to further God's kingdom.  If you do nothing, you will have nothing to present to the Lord when you are called to account.  The Word of God is life itself.  You have access to the Bible, so you are without excuse if you do not "sow" the seed of the Gospel.  Isaiah 55:11 says: 

¹¹ So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.
If we share the Word which has been entrusted to us, lives will be saved, hearts will be restored, and YOU will share a part in the glory of God!
Use whatever gift you have to share life with someone!  God has arranged for certain people to cross your path today - people who may not even know that they are hungry for the Word of God.  It may not be easy, but don't let that deter you. Listen to His prompting to share and speak what He gently prompts you to share.   Because this is a dark and sinful world we live in (where disease and all manner of evil exist) we are just like Adam who was told by God after he sinned, that he would work the ground by the sweat of his brow.  It won't be any different for us.  We will work and labor to scatter Seed and wait for the harvest to come.  And it shall surely come.
Beloved, you have access to the treasure everyone needs.  Don't bury it.  Give it away.  Scatter it.  I implore you....

 

Stars and Night Bloomers

Have you heard the saying that it gets darker just before the light comes?  Is this what the Bible teaches?  Can we be encouraged in the midst of deepening darkness and gloom?  We know that the Hebrew day starts at sunset, as light is fleeing.  The darkness goes on for hours until the sun comes up.

We know that this world that we live in, started in darkness - formless and void.  But God established light in the midst of the darkness.   

God has given us light even within the darkness - the moon and stars.  These are pinpoints of light by which we navigate.  By seeing the position of the stars in the night sky, we can gauge where we are and plot where we need to be and whether or not we are on course.
The darker the sky is, the brighter the stars seem to shine, and countless multitudes more can be seen.

The stars look tiny from our viewpoint on this earth.  But in reality they are huge.  Though we cannot see it, we know they move around.   

Your day - today - has started in the darkness of Parkinson's Disease.  Or perhaps it is the darkness of loneliness, financial ruin, a reputation that has been destroyed, a betrayel, a family torn apart, fear of the unknown, or even persecution.  You may experience a deepening of the darkness as your day proceeds.  But don't be alarmed.  You are not alone.  Neither are you without the stars that remind you of the goodness to come. 

You may be unaware of God's presence with you, Believer, but if you look, you will find stars in your particular darkness that God has placed there for your encouragement. He wants you to know that the dawn is coming.  The night is going to break into day for His children.  Your stars might be particular people in your life; certain medical advancements that bring you relief;  the blessing of children; access to the Word of God, or many many other things.  You fill in the blanks.

God can create a beautiful world for you from the darkness you now endure. 

Just as the stars in your life may not appear large, know that they are bigger and greater than you can see.  There is SO MUCH goodness that God works for you - the Believer - that only faith can see.  Without faith (the belief and resulting actions) in God you cannot take hold of the hope He offers.  

You can't have belief in what you can't see, you say? Oh yes you can and you do.  Can you know the true size of a star as you look from earth?  No, not with the naked eye.  But we have scientists who have shared knowledge with us about the stars so that we CAN know the truth. Can you see the end of night from your particular spot in life today?  No.  Not without faith in the God who created the stars above.   And that is what I am sharing with you today.  I am sharing with you the hope that God has shown me so that you too can see the truth. 

Like night flowers, you can bloom in the darkness of PD or whatever your challenge is.  The beauty and fragrance of these unique flowers are essential to the life of others, just as you are.  Bloom in your darkness today!  Spread the fragrant hope that you have in the Creator and Sustainer of all things.  For darkness heralds the coming of the light.

PD, Mephibosheth and Grace

I used to run the race of life on the front lines of the battle.  I was strong and it felt good to spend myself attaining not just satisfaction - but also gaining ground in nearing the proximity of my perceived goals.  As time passed, I found my goals were always changing, and I never reached the end of my struggle.  I ran, and ran, and ran accomplishing more but gaining nothing.  My speed was frantic - but for all my efforts, it was fast getting me nowhere. 
And then, long before the race was done, something broke.  Enter PD.  It slowed my forward progress, yet I was no less driven to win.  I was like the Israelites - in bondage - striving to make my quota of bricks - just barely keeping ahead of the demand when the straw - a necessary ingredient of bricks - was no longer given.  The demands for brick remained the same but without the straw given to me, it took more strength, more time, more skill.
I felt hedged in, troubled, oppressed in every way, perplexed and unable to find a way out, hard driven, alone, struck down to the ground - and in all things I felt the sentence of death to my mortal being.  Something had to give.  I needed either a new quota of bricks, a new task master, or renewed ability to perform. 
My ability was not renewed.  In fact it weakened and I became increasingly unable to perform.  The quota did not change.  The same was still required - the standard was not lowered.  The only way I was to survive was by grace.  Someone had to step into my place and make the bricks that were required.  The quota must be met.  The standard could not be lowered.  Someone needed to step in to do the things for me I could not do.
Here I was a failure in every way.  I had become an invalid.  I couldn't take care of myself and certainly not anyone else.  I could earn nothing, nor did I deserve any help based on my  accomplishments.  According to my performance, I was deficient.  Only grace could give me dignity.  Only an act of unmerited favor could raise me from the disgrace of total uselessness.  Only grace could put me into a position of honor.
King David once gave grace to a man named Mephibosheth, who was the son of an enemy and a cripple.  Mephibosheth was hiding in fear from the king in a place called Lo-Debar (which means no pasture), when the king invited him to eat at the king's table and be provided for all of his days. 
I am a picture of grace!  Even my name (Anna) means "grace".  Once I was broken and lost - useless - and an enemy to God. Like Mephibosheth, I was an invalid. I was without dignity or honor, existing like Mephibosheth in a terrible place where there was no pasture - no sustenance (it is equated with no Word of God.  We know that Jesus IS the Word, so we can conclude that we came from a place bereft of Jesus as Lord).  Jesus, my King, extended grace and took me in all of my brokeness, gave me dignity, and raised me to a place of honor.
If you want to understand grace, look at me.  Understand my earlier condition of disgrace.  Understand my need.  Then look and see what God has done for me. If you have never accepted all the love Jesus offers you - if you have never received the grace that He freely offers to you, then please stop to ponder it.  Do not walk away from this gift.  I encourage you to receive it as eagerly as you would receive a gift in beautiful wrapping!

Know Your Tools

I'm an artist. To get satisfactory results when I attempt to render something, I  have to know and be familiar with my media, whether it be watercolor, pastels, colored pencil, graphite, pen and ink or charcoal. 
Let's take watercolor, for example:  it's very unpredictable and also very unforgiving.  On top of that, when your colors on your paper are wet they look deeper or more vibrant than when they are dry.  There are many different kinds of paper, and when the paint is applied, the color will spread differently according to the weight and how it is pressed.  You have to understand how to mix colors so that you don't wind up with a muddy mess.  There are different grades of paint.....; many different types of brushes; and there are other tools to apply the paints with like a sponge or sprinkled salt.  Then if you make a mistake, you have to get creative according to trial and error to see if it can be corrected so that you don't have to trash it.  To get good at painting I have to spend time practicing what  I know and I work to improve.  You get the picture. 
So what does this have to do with PD?  Well this is what I'm thinking:  As time goes on and our disease progresses, we are able to do fewer and fewer of the same things like we have always done.  We can be inclined to brood over our losses.  We might give in to depression and self-pity as the losses mount up.   Our hearts can break over this dreadful state of affairs.  But, wait a minute......  Are we bypassing the good news that no disease or state of affairs can steal?
God gives us all of the tools we will ever need to deal with this disease and our heartaches.  He gives us the fruit of the Spirit (Galations 5:22-23 - "the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance....")  He also gives us armor so that we stand and do not fall.  (read Ephesians 6:11-18) If you are a Believer, God has given you the tools to create a masterpiece.  And you need to be familiar with these tools He gives you.  Practice love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance!  You become proficient with these tools only if you practice.  And, it won't be easy at first, but keep on, and you will see a change.  Don't focus on your loss, but go forward into the life that you have, and don't look back.  Nobody can ever go back to the way things were, but we are all given this new day. 
I don't know about you, but I suspect you would agree with me that your day is packed full of circumstances and opportunities to test your skill in handling these tools.  "This is the day that the Lord has made.  We will rejoice and be glad in it."

Parkinson's Disease: The Bomb

Today we are watching and listening to the unfolding of the terrorist bombing in Boston as police leave no stone unturned in the hunt for those responsible. 
Today, those of us with PD are also watching the unfolding of our lives with this infirmity that exploded upon our lives not unlike the bomb that literally rocked Boston. 
Where did it come from?  Why am I the site chosen for this unthinkable devastation?  Did God do this to me?
I don't believe He did.  It would be unthinkable to presume a spouse or a friend or sibling or my child (someone who loves me) could infect me with this disease, leaving me striken with no hope of living again.  In the same way, it is unthinkable to presume that God could or would bring the dark storm of PD into my life leaving me with the shrapnel of tremors, inability to move, facial masking, loss of smell, decreasing ability to speak correctly, depression and such things.  God is not the author of evil, nor is there any darkness in Him at all.
So where did this bomb come from?  I think we could all agree that it is the product of evil.  There are realities in this world that are not visible to our earthly eyes, but whose existence can be verified by the thoughts and deeds it inspires.  It is loveless and dark.  The spirit of the terrorist is as senseless as disease.  It exists only to destroy.
The terrorist will be tracked down.  Judgement will come.  And so it is with evil....  It will not prevail. 
We live in a broken world, but take heart and cling to the hope that God gives.  Forsake any thought of darkness and resist evil.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.  Stand with the psalmist who writes:  "I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.  Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage.  Yes, wait for the Lord."  Psalm 27:13-14