Follow by Email

Friday, January 29, 2016

You May Not Like This, But Read it Anyway....

Today I worship in the midst of my broken, and weary body. My Lord, Adonai, has seen fit to show me yet another day of heaviness. He will not leave me here with this diseased “house” one second longer than need be. I have prayed and asked for the fruit that is grown and harvested in this unsightly garden of Parkinsons's Disease. I am fast approaching that place of moment by moment dependence on Him for my life. It is the only place where I willingly lean on Him with the dead weight of brokeness and impossibilities. It is here that I endure the heavey hand of His love. It is hard to bear, and I don't do it very well, but My faith in Him – His name is Adonai – is unshakeable. Thank You, Lord, for all that You are. I choose to yield to You through this day. Be glorified today in my body. I am cut off from from the health that You intended for me, and I am punched down like the clay of the marred pot, to become a different vessel – one that points the way to You!

I give You the heart that You have broken in Your love for me. Every breath is for You. I have been here once before. I don't know why You have led me here again, so I will concentrate on what I DO know: You are with me through all, You are faithful, You have all authority, You are love.... You are my Shepherd. You keep me from wandering.... This untrustworthy body longs for the greener pastures, but You have hemmed me in behind and before and have built a wall of protection around me. I do not like this place, but You have made it – just for me – and I will praise Your Holy Name!

Tuesday, January 26, 2016

Sign Posts

In dealing with things and people that are hurtful or uncomfortable to me, I am propelled into new territory. I am led forward by discomfort, fear and ignorance, to seek the reason for painful predicaments. They are sign posts that point the way to understanding how I arrived in this uncomfortable situation or relationship. My true motives are unearthed and will determine my next steps – either to defend my right to stay and stand on that familiar plot of ground – refusing to change – or to take steps towards finding a new place that offers a vantage point that reveals new insight into my true motives which in turn – if I allow – will get me to the problem that is behind my problem.

Then and only then can I invite God in to be the Healer that He is, and stand aside – so as not to hinder Him as He chisels “self” from the block of marble that I am. “Self” is always at varience with the true changes that He makes in my heart – which then show up in my character. I do not have the power to make these changes, but only to see that they are needed, and to get out of His way, yielding to Him, and not fighting against Him. These small pieces of “Self” - ishness – show up as tendancies to preserve “Self” at the cost of all else.

So, the truth becomes clear to me.... I am not perfect or complete. There are things that must change. And God uses other people – even my enemies - to make this apparent. If I desire wholeness and improvement, I will not question my Maker's motives or methods, but will put that undisciplined house pet called “Self” – out of my house, and into the yard, so that He – God - can commence removing what is not part of the finished me.

Friday, December 18, 2015

You Have Been in my Dreams

You Have Been in my Dreams

It's Christmas time. This is the last of the year, and we all want it to be perfect and magical, everyone happy and even joyful. We remember the good years, when things worked out pretty much that way, or close to it.

It's hard to dream great things without including other people into our hopes. Especially if they are our children.... I found myself dreaming for one of my children, and I even started getting anxiety because I can see, she is altering her course away from what I want for her. She wants a lot of the same things that I want for her, but where I can see the pitfalls and valleys – all dangerous of course - her inexperience and even naivete do not properly warn her. I worry over all that may befall her.

But God is gently reminding me that she must dream for herself and live each day as SHE chooses. I did the same thing when I was young. God is reminding me of His patience with me, and His discipline when I have veered off course. There were plenty of times that I was the wayward sheep.

Yes, I know that the world is a lot more dangerous now than then. I know that we are like an ant in a hurricane. Evil forces crouch at the door waiting to pounce on our unsuspecting kids. But God has heard our prayers and He loves them. He has listened to our intercession for each one. And He says in a quiet and loving way, “You must not try to force your dreams upon them. I am God. You are not. Trust me to do what I do.

So miraculously I have let my expectations go – like balloons floating up into the sky until the sight of them is gone. I don't know what's best.... but God does. I'm not their Holy Spirit..........but God is. My motives are not always pure.... but God's are. I have decided to trust Him with what was His all along: my precious children.

Oh, I'm not going to sit back and do nothing. I'm giving my time to prayer. I don't know the outcome of specific things, but I know Who does. He tells me to pray without ceasing. Our passionate and heartfelt prayers are perhaps the greatest fear of our powerful enemy. We must travail in prayer, holding these precious ones up constantly to Him, but refraining from trying to conform them to our very small ideas. God's dreams for them are huge and amazing. And He has the power and authority to make them happen.

Give the people around you, room to live. If you want to change them, or find that your help is unwanted, take your concerns to Him in prayer and then don't take pick them up again. If you have PD, then you know the deadly effects that anxiety produces in our bodies.

  1. go to God in prayer
  2. pour out your heart to Him
  3. Trust Him to act
  4. Never stop praying
  5. Trust Him in everything
  6. And did I say.......Trust Him?
  7. Trust Him

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Parkinson's Disease, an Enemy in the Flesh, is not Altogether Unlike my Spiritual Enemy


The nature of the times in which we live calls for clarification of the precise role Satan and demons may play in the life and experience of a believer.... In these sinister spirit personalities, humanity, especially redeemed humanity, has an implacable enemy. This foe is dedicated to alienate man from God and to keep him from Christ's saving grace. When men do believe the gospel, Satan exerts every effort to turn them away from God's will. He knows that once they are saved they are beyond his power insofar as their position before God and their eternal destiny are concerned. So he determines to do them as much damage as he can , seeking to ruin their Christian life and testimony for God.

Satan is relentless and pitiless in his hatred for God and the people of God. What makes the devil a fearful foe is the fact of his great power. This is augmented by the assistance of innumerable fallen angels or demons. Satanic forces constitute a mighty evil spiritual reality to be seriously reckoned with by the entire fallen race, both redeemed and unredeemed....

Actually Satan is the most powerful person in the universe after God. Although he is a creature and a vast gap separates him as such from the Creator, he is the first creature and evidently the most glorious of all creatures.....Our Lord plainly intimated that Satan is a king and presides over a kingdom (Matthew 12;26). As a potentate reigning over the realm of spiritual darkness, Satan extends his sway over the evil angels or demons. Through these 'principalities, powers, rulers of the darkness of this world and wicked spirits in the heavenlies' (Ephesians 6:12), he exerts dominion over the fallen human race. As men open the door to him by sin and rebellion against God, he enters to dominate and enslave....

The saints must realize that they are the bull's-eye, as it were, against which Satan and his demon helpers aim their most fiery darts. They constitute Satan's deadliest foes and the greatest threat to his authority and powers. This is why saints dare not be oblivious of Satan's malignity nor 'ignorant of his devices' (2 Corinthians 3:11).

Monday, November 23, 2015

An Informed Opinion

Where do you stand?

Have you seriously thought about the veracity of the Bible and whether or not the God of the Bible is real and true? Well do you have an opinion based on feelings and what seems understandable and right to the human mind – in this case yours? Could you defend your position? Either way, the Bible claims and stories contain way more than a quick briefing can afford. It's claims are quite astounding and have the potential to change lives – yes and save lives. If these claims are not true then don't you think you owe it to the rest of the world to be able to give an accounting of why you disagree or simply don't believe?

Is truth something that should be taught to our children and to all people? How can we ever hope for peace or change for the better if we don't know what truth is? Many have claimed that the Bible is the true Word of God. I think we should have an informed opinion about it. If it's false, then it's a pack of lies. But if true............. it is the staple of life.

Going over someone else's opinion is second-hand knowledge, which is unreliable at best. I don't think we do ourselves justice to let someone else do the thinking for us. There is a prevailing attitude in our own country of independence (we like to think we make our own decisions based on our own knowledge and intelligence). How can we justify convicting or exonerating the truth or deception of the Bible without careful deliberation and a study of it's claims? How can I let someone else do my thinking for me on a matter of such reputed importance?

Monday, October 5, 2015


Several days ago, I prayed for a friend who is suffering with more than one physical problem.  She is in a great deal of pain and has been for months - even years.  Not responding in bitterness or anger, and not complaining to her God and her Maker or the people around her, she prays unceasingly for His help.  In her human flesh, she is overcome, but unwavering in her faith in the Creator.

Romans 12:1 says, "Present your body as a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God which is your spiritual service of worship."  Check.  She has done that...........Isaiah 54:17 says, "No weapon that is formed against you shall prosper; and every tongue that accuses you in judgement you will condemn.  This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their vindication is from Me, declares the Lord.  In other words, nothing that the enemy torments you (as a Believer)with can last forever.  His accusations will come to nothing.  This is a promise to Believers.  Check.  She has embraced this promise.  Her faith is in He who promises.................  James 5:13 says, "Is anyone among you suffering?  Let him pray."  Check.  She has obeyed.

She has done all she knows to do, and yet still she suffers.  I will give voice to the question we all have:  Why???  Why, Lord???

 Let me offer this explanation:  First there is no pat answer.  I think there are just some things we will never know for sure this side of heaven.  Only God knows His reasons....  This leaves us with a choice:  turn from Him or believe all He promises even though day after day, we do not see the fulfillment or relief.  That is when we employ our faith.  Faith is for those times when we don't know why or how or when, but we see the hoped for end, and it's good.  My father promised me a horse if I saved up enough money to buy one when I was very young.  This was a conditional promise.  I believed him.  So I saved up enough money, though it took years.  Eventually I got my horse. Though it came through unexpected channels, it came neverless. What kept me hanging on all those years, saving every penny?  Faith in my father's word.

Only Believers can hope to receive God's promises to His children.  Faith will connect the Believer to the promised end.  Faith in why or what?  Faith that God is who He says He is (a promise keeper).  We have faith that the Bible - God's Word, does tell us the truth about God's character.  What's going on while we wait?  We are developing patience.  James 1:2-4 says, "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.  And let endurance have its perfect result, that you may be perfect and complete lacking in nothing."

Contrary to popular thought (especially in this country) pain is not a bad thing.  We DO NOT like it, but it is not necessarily a bad thing.

But I didn't do anything to deserve this pain!  It doesn't matter.  Matthew 5:45 says, "He causes His sun to rise on the evil and the good.  And sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous."  He blesses the world with many good things.  Sickness can be brought on by sin, but not necessarily.

Look at John 9:1-3 which says, "...He saw a man blind from birth.  And His disciples asked Him saying.' Rabbi, who sinned?  This man or his parents that he should be born blind?  Jesus answered , It was neither that this man sinned, nor his parents.  But it was in order that the works of God might be displayed in him.'"  So God let one man suffer so that many might be blessed by the works of God displayed in this man.

That's not fair, you may say.  Well what about a bone marrow donor?  Or a kidney donor?  These willingly suffer pain so that the wonder of healing can come, and all the world is encouraged.  It's not exactly the same thing, but maybe it helps to get my point across.

We live in a world that has been abused and suffers.  God didn't make it that way.  Man messed it up.  From before time, there has been a war going on between good and evil.  There are casualties in a war.  Bad things happen to good people in a war.  But honestly, I ask you.....  Does the crucifixtion and death of Jesus Christ make sense?  If we cannot understand this, how can we hope to understand why God allows what He allows at a given time.  How can we understand how and why the innocent suffer.  We must lay it to rest with this:  God promises He has purpose in what happens.  And God is the essence of Authority walking in Love.  Have faith in Him and trust Him to do what He says He can do.

Saturday, September 26, 2015

Taking A Break

Taking A Break

Lord, I am remembering old requests as I sit here and visit with You. My heart is astir as I wait on Your mercy – on the pouring out of Your grace. I do not doubt for I am standing on a good foundation. When the world around me is shaken, I am not. Greater is He who is in me than he who is in the world.

I am so grateful that You died for me. Working out and planning just how You were going to save us was so hard that it made creating the universe seem like child's play. You are amazing, God.

You are beautiful beyond my perception. Even if words could truly capture who you are, they would not even come close to naming Your attributes, or describing the infinite depth of love and authority in Your deep and knowing eyes. My whole heart is Yours. I give You all that I am. Please live in this world through me....