Today I worship in the midst of my broken, and weary body. My Lord, Adonai, has seen fit to show me yet another day of heaviness. He will not leave me here with this diseased “house” one second longer than need be. I have prayed and asked for the fruit that is grown and harvested in this unsightly garden of Parkinsons's Disease. I am fast approaching that place of moment by moment dependence on Him for my life. It is the only place where I willingly lean on Him with the dead weight of brokeness and impossibilities. It is here that I endure the heavey hand of His love. It is hard to bear, and I don't do it very well, but My faith in Him – His name is Adonai – is unshakeable. Thank You, Lord, for all that You are. I choose to yield to You through this day. Be glorified today in my body. I am cut off from from the health that You intended for me, and I am punched down like the clay of the marred pot, to become a different vessel – one that points the way to You!
I give You the heart that You have broken in Your love for me. Every breath is for You. I have been here once before. I don't know why You have led me here again, so I will concentrate on what I DO know: You are with me through all, You are faithful, You have all authority, You are love.... You are my Shepherd. You keep me from wandering.... This untrustworthy body longs for the greener pastures, but You have hemmed me in behind and before and have built a wall of protection around me. I do not like this place, but You have made it – just for me – and I will praise Your Holy Name!