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Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Talk to Me

Yesterday, I made a new friend. I met her over the phone. We instantly found a repoire - a closeness that you sometimes feel immediately with someone you meet. We engaged in conversation for over an hour.

This morning, I sat on our front porch and conversed with my son's friend. It had the feel of older days gone by when life seemed simpler and there was time for talk.

Conversation is an art quickly disappearing. We have "advanced" into the days of instant gratification and multi-tasking with our fancy gadgets. We can text on our cell phones, keep an eye on the GPS and drive our car while back home our oven turns on automatically and our lights are set on a timer so we don't come home to a dark house.

We have given first place to accomplishing tasks and not even a close second to spending time and just talking to people. Eye to eye contact, body language, our voice and the tone in which we speak are all different ways we communicate which can in no way be replicated in a hand held device or any other gadget.

Jesus came to the earth Himself to communicate God's love to you and to me. When I speak to Him and spend time with Him, I soak Him in. I am comforted and calmed. Problems become much smaller in light of my closeness to Him.

Having PD, I will tell you that stress takes its toll on my body and mind. But when I take my stressed out self into the presence of the God who calls Himself Truth and Love, then I am able to "be still and know that He is God."

Take time today to spend with your Lord. Take time today to enjoy talk with someone. You may think you can't "waste" your time just talking, but can you really afford not to? I'm headed back outside to the front porch...

Friday, June 24, 2011

Trust God - Not Your Feeling or Understanding

It's a scary thing to be in need of help and to be dependent on others. When we are forced to ask for assistance it's not an easy "place" to be. It takes lots of grace from God both to be the one asking for help and the one doing the helping.
With PD the meds taken to help you may also cause certain problems. I think the most frightening of all is when I am told I'm not thinking clearly because of these meds. That's when you need an anchor and someone to trust. This was where I leaned into God.

Scripture tells us to "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body, and refreshment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-8.

This is where I learned the hard lesson that regardless of what I perceived, God's Truth never changes. I learned to believe in His huge love for me, and I learned to treat circumstances and people with the regard God says is due them regardless of what I thought.

Trust in the way of God and let Him "guide you in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake."
Psalm 23:3

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

I 2nd King David

"He reached down from on high and took hold of me; he drew me out of deep waters. He rescued me from my powerful enemy, from my foes, who were too strong for me. They confronted me in the day of my disaster, but the Lord was my support. He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me." 2 Samuel 22:17-20

This is my praise today. I look back to impossible days when my enemy, PD, was for a time prevailing. I was under its thumb. I had no power against it and my heart to fight - to hope - had been mortally wounded.

That time has passed. I'm on the other side of those impossible days. If you belong to Jesus, and right now you are in deep waters, in need of rescue,then do what King David did: "In my distress I called to the Lord; I called out to my God. From his temple he heard my voice; my cry came to his ears.... He parted the heavens and came down...." 2 Samuel 22:7,10

You will one day rejoice and say with David, "... I call to the Lord, who is worthy of praise, and I am saved from my enemies. The waves of death swirled about me; the torrents of destruction overwhelmed me. The cords of the grave coiled around me; the snares of death confronted me...." (2 Samuel 22:4-6) but they were nothing in comparison to the Lord my rock, my fortress and my deliverer.

Child of God, if you are in impossible days, be encouraged and KNOW that you have your Father's ear and you will one day be delivered! If you are past impossible days then sing praises to your heavenly Father, knowing that when trouble comes again, He will deliver in His time.

Don't surrender hope in your God.

"You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall." 2 Samuel 22:29-30

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Behind a Cloud

It's hard to sit down and write today. I feel that I don't have anything positive to contribute today. I don't feel wise, or knowledgeable or that I have anything at all worth sharing. I am beset with memories and pieces of conversations that remind me I have failed at so many things in the past.

Everyone has days like this or periods of time when the sun seems to be behind a cloud.... I think the antidote for this darkness that grips me is to meditate and ponder and gaze upon Truth. I can't fix myself or lift myself up and out of this dark fog, but in the very midst of it I can lift my head and raise my eyes to look upon all that really matters: my Lord Jesus Christ. He is perfection. He is mercy, and grace, and justice all rolled into one. What He has done for me is too wonderful for words.

Thank you, Lord that there is healing in your presence.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

A Particular Moment of Time

How will you use the time that God has given you today? You're still here...........a new day has dawned.........and you have been given the same 24 hours that you were given yesterday. Perhaps you are not thrilled with the set of circumstances you are in which dictate a limited number of choices you have to choose from today, but just how WILL you choose to spend the time you have been given?

As for me, I don't want to make any choices today that I will regret tomorrow. I also don't want to waste or miss any opportunities that I will have today - opportunities that exist only in a particular moment of time. I don't want to miss any opportunities because I didn't recognize them, so I will look for them. I want to use my time to prepare for whatever may come tomorrow.

My disease puts me in a place that sometimes narrows down my choices to a handful of things to do or say. But if you are alive at this moment and reading these words I spent time this morning writing, then sit up and take notice of what you do have. God didn't give any of us a new day so we could waste it on self pity, or worthless pursuits. Impart to this world of people that you live in, what you can that will comfort, encourage, strengthen or edify. Only you can do that in your way.

One day we will all give an accounting for the time we were given. Prepare for that day. Make wise choices.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Talking Either Way

As I mentioned earlier, I'm not writing in my blog as much very recently. But I AM still being productive and expressing myself. I am an artist and I paint and draw. Sometimes I'm not sure which way I express myself in the best way - by writing... or telling stories through my art. Anyway, I'd like to share with you what I have painted while I've been so "quiet".........

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Lots of Time to Think

At this point in my life I have lots of time to think. I think my quiet time is just as plentiful now as my crazy life was busy when my kids were young. I find that issues I have, or have had, come to mind again and again, even though I have done what I know to do. Especially when I need to forgive, and things are still very painful and the wounds are still fresh. I have found great comfort in going to the Lord and telling Him all about my pain, my doubts, my desire for justice, how unfair life is, and on and on. It's OK to do that. In fact it's good to do that. If you don't believe me, just read through the Psalms. Many of them are written by King David. God wasn't displeased with him for being truthful about His feelings and expressing them to Him, but called him a man after God's own heart. After all, God already knows the truth about our feelings.
So, what do you think? Do you take your most negative thoughts and feelings to God, pouring them out so He can comfort you and get you through tough times, changing your heart in the process?

Thursday, June 2, 2011


I haven't had much to say lately. Maybe it's because I haven't felt so good. I have so many aches and pains all over.......... But I want to take this opportunity to say - in the midst of pain - I am thankful. I will praise and worship my heavenly Father, knowing that He knows what is best for me. He is all powerful and at any moment He could make my pain disappear. But I will trust Him to do that at the right time. I will ask for healing and relief, to be sure, but I will remain yielded to His will.