The Crimson Worm

Many times I have felt so alone in the dark side of PD.  At these times I was assailed with sad and negative thoughts, and unable to fight them off.  And it makes it even harder to realize that there is no one around who understands... no one to help bear the burden....  When I would find myself in this state of mind and heart, I found relief in the Scriptures.
I read the 22nd Psalm and meditated on it.  It is a prophetic psalm written about 1,000 years before Christ was crucified.  It foretold His death on the cross and tells us what He was thinking as He hung there.  Though we will never know the torment He suffered, we can identify with some of how He felt.  Here is a verse or two:  "I am a worm and not a man.  A reproach of men and despised by the people."   (vs.6)  He felt so low, that He compared Himself to a worm, and I'm fairly certain that like me, you have had times when you felt that low.  Let me share with you what I found out about this, and after you have heard me out, I think you will agree that we have much to be thankful for, and every reason to be lifted up and out of our pain and suffering.
The word in Hebrew it is specifically a female worm called the "crimson worm".  She helps us to understand our Lord Jesus and what He really did on that cross.  The first thing she does is to climb the tree of her own free will.  Nobody forces her to do so.  Jesus got on the cross of His own free will.  Like Jesus, the crimson worm knows she will not come back down alive.  She is going to birth a family and to do that she must die.  Jesus was willing to die on the cross to birth a family.
I will quote from an article by Calvin Ray Evans:
"Once on the tree, the crimson worm then attaches itself to the tree.  It makes sure it is secure because the body of the worm will eventually be the shelter for the young, which are born.  Remember, it was not nails that held our Savior to the cross.  It was love!  That same love and broken body of our Lord is the protection for us against all the winds of heresy and unbelief of  the ages.  The worm will then lay its eggs and shelter them under her body.
During the birthing process, she secretes a crimson fluid or gel.  The scarlet fluid covers her entire body and all the eggs she lays.  It also leaves a stain on the tree, which will never fade away with the passing of time!  The blood of Jesus stained Him, the cross and all of us, which are saved!  The blood will never lose its power!
After dying to birth the family, something amazing takes place.  For a period of three days the worm can be scraped from the tree and the crimson get can be used to make a dye.  That dye was the same which was used in the tabernacle and in the garments of the High Priest.
On the morning of the fourth day, the worm has pulled the head and tail together and is now in the shape of a heart on the tree but it is no longer crimson.  It is now a wax, which is white as snow.  They can still harvest the wax and use it to make shellac, a preservative of wood.  Praise God for the resurrection, which serves as the preservative of the message of the cross.
The crimson worm is also very fragrant when it is crushed.  No other life in history has sweetened the pathway of humanity like the crimson worm who was crushed for our sin, Jesus.
In my study, I also was blessed to discover the crushed worm is also used to make medicine.  Oh bless His Name!  He is the healer of our diseases!  He is the only one that has the power to break the curse of sin and save our soul from destruction.
I do not believe for one moment it was a mistake that He called Himself a worm!  He is the Crimson Worm who dies and was crushed for you."
Can anything else matter as much?  Does this give you perspective?  He not only knows how you feel, He died on the cross to save you, and He foretold it all 1,000 years earlier!
When dark thoughts come crowding in, send  them away and fill your mind with the beautiful Truth!

Grace

“And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us (and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father) full of grace and truth.” John 1:14

Do you feel weak? Are you on your last leg of energy? Has hope dimmed and are you overwhelmed and weary of the battle against PD? Do you doubt your ability to get through another day​?

God says, “My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Moved by His great love for us, God responds to our deficit – in that we are helpless and weak and cannot meet our own need. He provides something called grace – which is not exactly the addition of something to our person that will then enable us to accomplish a specific task or endure some trial – though that is part of it. But grace is where God meets us at those points we find we are unable to produce or endure or accomplish. He meets us there and gives us what we never understood before. He goes beyond the need for a specific thing and gives Himself which satisfies that part of me and heals that part of me which made real true giving and receiving impossible - It is the transformation of a broken pot into a vessel of honor.

We were once running on limited supplies from the well of “self”, but now we draw on the currency of grace which enables us to accomplish the previously impossible – more than just individual feats. It enables us to love and give and endure as Jesus did. If you still do not comprehend grace – then look at Jesus, the man when He walked the earth.

Grace is the fullness of God in all of its terrible beauty. It is the Word made flesh – it is Jesus in all that He is inside of Believers - you and me – His own children. It is Jesus manifested on the earth – in our hands, our arms, our hearts – come to touch those who are lost – who are sick and dying – those from whom you and I have come. It was Grace that drew you out of the sea of hopeless death into the light of His Presence.

All of the Parts Make up the Whole

A body with broken parts is not efficient if it works at all.  It is made up of many different parts, all of which have specific function.  Every part is needed.  Where there are malfunctioning or missing parts, you have a body that is broken down.

Those of us with PD know this all too well.  It's true in the physical world as well as the spiritual world. 

We struggle sometimes to walk, or clap, or even talk to name a few.  As we attempt to do with our bodies things that we used to do gracefully and without effort,  we find that movement is slow, painful and labored - sometimes impossible.  If all the parts aren't working - nothing is the same.

Someone just yesterday compared a broken down body to the Body of Christ.  Within the Body of Christ - the Church - we all have a function.  You could say that we have work to do.  But if for some reason, we don't function as we are intended, then the whole body suffers.  In the body when the dopamine producing neurons begin dying off, what is set into motion, is something like a bunch of dominoes toppling one after another, leaving us struggling or unable to perform the task at hand.

How do we as members of the body of Christ keep in good working order?  Read God's Word.  Believe God's Word.  Act on God's Word.  And heap lots of prayer onto everything (pray without ceasing).  When we don't submit ourselves to His authority and walk with Him, not quenching the Spirit, we are rather like one who has spiritual PD. Today, I am depending on you to do God's will within the Body of Christ.  You are depending on me.  May we not sin against each other by not doing our individual parts!  I want to live as God intended, and I'm sure that you do too!  


 

Faith or Control?

Does the uncertainty of the future bother you?  Do the memories of the past confuse you as they fade away?  Does it stress you out to deal with the changing present?  Do you live in defeat because you are not sure the decisions you are making are the right ones?   If so, you may be having control issues.  At least that's how it usually goes with me.  It's the exact opposite of living by faith in Jesus Christ.  We are to do the best we can at any given time, based on the knowledge that we have at that time.  We will never have perfect knowledge.  But if we do our best to live life the way God  tells us to, then we can trust Him to take care of the rest.
We can't see the future, nor do we completely understand the past.  Our time in the present is bombarded with false information, all manner of emotions, amd an imperfect and faulty body.  How much of reality can be grasped given these circumstances?  I don't know the answer to that, but I do know that there IS a right way - a good way - and it's God's way. 
I am comforted to know that He knows the truth about certain things that happened in the past that now come back to haunt me.  I can depend on Him to take care of me through it all, because He knows the truth about all things, and He will show me the path of life if I will yield to Him and listen to Him. 
Life with PD brings with it many problems, many heartaches, and much that is unknown.  Do your best to do the right and good thing, based on the knowlege you have at the time.  Yield to God in every way you know how, trusting Him to do what is right.  This is how you are to live.  Use PD to practice hearing His voice and obeying.............