I have questions... lots of questions. Why do I have this disease? What causes it? Will I ever get better? How long will life be difficult? And then there are the questions relating to friends, family and acquaintences. As I view the panorama of my past, I am met with memories and people, places and things both good and bad. There are joys and sadness, trust and betrayel, times of confusion and times of clarity, wasted moments and time well spent and so on. I have spent years pondering some of these things - especially those things that hurt - and I never get past a certain point as I try to make logical sense of it all. I cannot discern the heart's intent of my enemies or the motivation of my friends. I just don't have enough information to come to an indisputable understanding.
I get stuck on the betayels, the meaness, the self-centeredness of us all. I don't even fully know why I have done the things I have done.
But that's ok. That's how it will be this side of heaven. And even if I did know it all, what does that have to do with who I am? All of the past is who I was. I decide what kind of person I want to be today regardless of grievances. In fact it is as we go through our heartaches that who we really are in Christ is diffused into the world around us.
Nobody escapes trouble. But God is there to help. He understands it all, so we can trust Him without knowing all of the answers. We can enter into faith that says, He knows all, sees all, this Jesus. He is light and He is love. He cares and He will do the right thing.
Rest your weary hearts and tired minds.... and let Him take care of all..........