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Friday, November 25, 2011

The Scary Stuff

The winter doldrums have set in here. I feel defeated by a bunch of things. Anxiety is knocking the door down. Old fears are resurfacing. Doubts are persistant. Even the sky is dark and cloudy. It's about 4:30 and it's practically dark.
I thought it might make me feel better to write to you. Maybe some of you will comment back.......... We all have days or at least moments like this. As I have gotten older, these times come fewer and farther between. But they hit the dead center of the bull's eye of my worst fears. What are your worst fears? And when they knock at your door like the yapping of a dog insistent on registering his displeasure at being left outside, how do you handle them?
I think the fact that it's the holidays make it worse. There are too many good and bad memories that seem to show up year after year. And if we didn't have certain expectations, it wouldn't hurt when they are not met.
All these battles take place in my mind, and they are spiritual battles, which must be fought in the spiritual realm with spiritual weapons. We must gird our loins with truth (God's Word), put on the breastplate of righteousness, shod our feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace, and take up the shield of faith, the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit.
The other thing is to fill our minds with good thoughts. I don't mean just ignore whatever is not good, but to replace it with truth.
I hope things are good with you. Let me hear from you!


Tonya said...

I'm with you on this, Anna. Doubt, fears, anxiety, feeling defeated, 'tis the season...
I think, as people with Parkinson's, it is even harder, Christian or not, to wrestle with these unwelcome thoughts and feelings. I know what I need to do, but I allow the enemy to beat me up with guilt and unworthiness and despair. Parkinson's Disease is a monster that needs to be tamed and bound because it feeds on our emotions and thoughts.
I also tend to withdraw inside myself after too much social contact. Wish I was a better friend.

juju said...

dearest anna, your ministry to me is profound. the LORD is glorified in your life! may knowing this lift your spirits. i will add you to my daily prayer list, dear one.

my life is in utter shambles. but i have the LORD and a faithful husband. please pray for me as well. thank you again - julie

Anna said...

Julie, thank you for being so transparent. I will surely pray for you, and am so grateful that you will be praying for me too. Life is just so darned hard sometimes. Let's make James 1:2 our theme verse - "Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials...." Julie, my heart is with you. I am remembering that the joy of the Lord is my strength!

Anna said...

Tonya, thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and your struggles with us. You are not alone, sweet one. Please join Julie and I in our prayers for each other. Love you..........

Tonya said...

I will, Anna. Thank you for your support. Love you....too.